Links: Have you been stalking your ex's Pandora?

The Frisky's Jennifer Garam offers guidance to anyone who's ever realized that they've replaced book-reading with reading their their ex's LinkedIn, Pandora, Netflix and Kink.com accounts.

Joan Rivers brags about an Auschwitz joke, brings up the unmentionable eventual death of Betty White, and almost touches Andy Cohen's penis on live television. This shit is hotter than this pornographic photo of a cat's cleavage.  

The self-typecasting Julie Delpy continues her lovable, hyperintellectual female-Woody Allen schtick with her upcoming 2 Days in New York, the follow-up to 2 Days in Paris.  I love Julie Delpy — Before Sunrise and Before Sunset were beautiful — but you'd think that after four time-sensitive romance films, the woman would stop taking such short vacations. 

Speaking of Woody Allen, if Midnight in Paris left you aching for a softer, simpler time, this video, titled Niggas in Paris at Midnight, is guaranteed to restore your faith in the here and now.

Based on some comic coverage on 30 Rock and The Office, the internet seems abuzz with unfounded worry that Cockupy Ball Street will become a mere punchline.  

Similar worry is now spreading about the President of the United States getting felt up in Chinese "restaurants." But while Bush will be remembered for his heart-meltingly beady eyes, Lincoln for his godly bone structure, Clinton for practicing liberalism with his man-batter, and Taft for being a plus-size beauty, someone has to take home the prize for finest presidential buttocks, and I'll be darned if there's a better candidate.