Oh s**t! Today is Halloween, and you don't have a costume. You could go to your Halloween party and hang your head in shame; or, you can check out some super easy Halloween costumes that will save your spooky day:
1. Sexy Cardboard Box
This one comes via my friend Monica, who has wanted to do this costume for years. You can get a cardboard box at any liquor or grocery store. Just punch armholes in the side, open the bottom, and voila, you're a sexy cardboard box. Funny, and making an important social point or something.
2. Party in My Pants
You're almost definitely near a drug store, so buy a couple of greeting cards (ideally, party invitations), and stuff 'em in your pants so that they peak out just a little. Then it's a party in your pants, and everyone is invited! This was suggested by my student Laura, who pointed out that she couldn't do it because she "didn't have a penis." Fair point, Laura.
3. World Wide Web
I did this costume three or four years ago by heading to Staples. Grab some of those awful "spider" webs that everyone puts on their fences; a package of 2"x4" labels; and a black sharpie. Then, write out some of your favorite websites on the labels, plus at least ten that say "porn," and stick them all over your body. Make sure to leave some labels, and carry the sharpie, so you can have other people write out websites and stick them on you.
4. Change We Can Believe In
This comes via Marni, via "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me:" Take whatever loose change you have, and glue it on your shirt. The end!
So those are our suggestions... Got any quick and easy Halloween costumes to help out your fellow man? Or woman?