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Marry, F*ck or Kill?: American Idol Judges

Posted by Emily Farris

Last night's premiere of Season 7 of American Idol rolled out the red carpet for the good the bad, the ugly and the crazy. 

And, oh what a night! There were drag queens, goth kids, jokers and one farm boy we're pretty sure we'd go to jail for looking at twice. And we're wiling to take that chance.

Ryan Seacrest may have had a homoerotic experience toward the end of the show, and it did not go unnoticed that Paula Abdul did not appear to be under the influence of anything.

But as always, the real stars of the show were the judges, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell. So, which American Idol judge would you marry, fuck and kill?


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Posted Jan 17 2008, 10:01 AM
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Comments

Brian F. said:

You actually watch this shit?

Paula - fuck, no brainer

Simon - kill, duh

Randy - marry-- he likes chicks and I like chicks, we'll be fine

January 17, 2008 10:57 AM

camipco said:

Kill Paula, Fuck Simon, Marry Randy.

I love american idol.

January 17, 2008 12:11 PM

Kalliope said:

Kill Randy, Fuck Paula, Marry Simon (LOVE that accent).

January 17, 2008 12:49 PM

ElDeano said:

Fuck some sense into Paula

Kill Randy, where did this dude come from anyway

Marry Simon, mom would be proud

January 17, 2008 2:07 PM

jaycg said:

Kill all 3.  

Well...the picture of Paula posted is kind of hot, so fuck Paula and kill the other two.  Then kill Paula.

January 17, 2008 4:27 PM

japooka said:

Marry Paula. Fuck Randy - I bet I could shock him out of using all that tired pseudo-hiphop lingo. Kill Simon for the good of all humankind.

January 17, 2008 4:56 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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