Helen Mirren was on Conan last night talking about the time she almost got to perform with one of rock's greatest stars, now long gone.

"I heard this incredible crashing and banging coming from the ally where the stage door is. [T]his completely drunken guy was climbing out of a trash can, covered in trash and with a pin-striped suit on. A complete madman. Then I heard the crashing and banging coming through the stage door, and up the stairs..."

"I opened the door and it was Keith Moon. He said, 'Hello darling, I hear you're wonderful in this play.' I said, 'It's nice to meet you, but I have to go onstage now.' He said, 'That's all right, I'll come with you. I'll come and play in your band.' I'm so idiotic. I said, 'No, you can't.' 

"One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't play on stage with Keith Moon."  [Starpulse; and why Keith Moon was the greatest rock star ever]

Rush Limbaugh thinks Hillary's fan base is mainly feminists, defined as women who have had "two or three abortions" and as many divorces. 

Speaking of terrorists like Rush Limbaugh, did you remember to submit to "Ask Al Qaeda"?

Maybe someone should ask Zawarhi if he's as excited as we are by the Jim Carrey-Ewan McGregor prison romance film. Hopefully, it's, um, not going to be a remake of "Midnight Express." 

Dita Von Teese's instantly legendary lesbian porno, which apparently may get her dropped as the new spokesperson for Wonderbra, is circulating on the 'net. Above is a censored screenshot, and below the NSFW reverse angle. Again, no embed-able vids have surfaced, but click here for an external site that features it.