His name, seriously, is Vice Admiral John Stufflebeem. And boy, did he stuff his beam in an early-20s woman in his White House basement love nest...

The juicy/repulsive highlights: 

1) It appears a bitter rival on the same career path (or maybe the scorned wom[e]n involved were upset and) came after him. According to USA Today:

an anonymous letter revealed an 18-year-old secret that Stufflebeem thought was long buried and forgotten. The letter accused Stufflebeem of carrying on an eight-month affair with a female State Department staffer while the two were assigned to the White House in 1990.

2) While still living with his wife, who remained oblivious (it seems) to the whole affair, the "37-year-old commander pretended to be a widower, telling the woman that his wife had died of breast cancer and that he was raising his two children on his own, according to the Inspector General's report."

3) Stufflebeem got it on with the unnamed female, who worked for the State Department, "in the White House basement and when the two traveled abroad with the White House travel team. The two engaged in 'passionate kissing' in a car parked near the White House grounds, and he even sexually propositioned the woman's close friend on a trip to London, the report says." Let it never be said the Clinton Administration had more sex in those hallowed halls-- hey, this guy actually got laid in the White House, unlike some former Presidents.

4) On top of all that, the poor woman had to find out he was married from other employees. How embarrassing would that be? You think you're top of the world, baby, just out of college and getting bonked in the fucking White House, then all of a sudden, some dudes you work with say: "What? He told you he's wearing his wedding ring so his kids believe mommy isn't dead? Well, the kids are right-- she ain't fuckin' dead."

5) The affair eventually came to light within the White House hierarchy (Bush 1 knew!), it wasn't until the anonymous letter back in January that Stufflebeem's full story came out and he was completely sacked. The "Boomer" (no, it wasn't a Bush, Sr. nicknname, but a Detroit Lions one) lied to investigators, it is alleged, telling them it was only a chaste "kiss" and that he couldn't even remember the woman's name. Somehow, the whole thing blew over... until now...

Enjoy more sordid details at USA Today.com. (That's probably the only time in history that sentence has ever been uttered.)