In case you haven't noticed. It's effing cold outside. Unreasonably so. And as I walked to work today, all I could think about was how nice it would be to walk back home tonight, curl up in a blanket with my bottle of bourbon (currently: Maker's) and watch Gossip Girl. Which is why when I saw NY Mag's headline of the day: "Should Gender Equality Extend To Drinking?", I thought, "What a perfect story for this time of year."
Which is also why, when I saw that it opened with the sad tale of a bright, young, female investment banker who drinks her way to the top, to rehab, and then right back off the wagon, I felt I'd been duped.
I was hoping for stories of champion drinkers, like my friend Kathryn, who will, hands down, win any chugging competition in any bar. I've won many a free round by throwing her pounding prowess around like it was my own. I was hoping for stories of female camraderie - like how I bonded with my co-worker and new best imbibing buddy over our love for bourbon and drinking alone. And, most importantly, I was hoping for some awesome scientific facts about how there's no reason women can't keep up with the boys at the bar; all it takes is a little practice; etc.
But it turns out that the glass ceiling can also be found at the bottom of the glass, because while "heavy drinkers of both genders raise their risk of death by stroke, ...women raise theirs almost twice as much (92 percent versus 48 percent)."
And in addition to that, they even had the audacity to call us fat. Because, as everyone knows, "Women have...more body fat than men" and "the fat retains [the alcohol]." Again with the fat, people! We may have bubbies! But we can still drink! Or at least I can!
So, what say you, ladies? Can you prove the stats wrong? Do you want to help me try? Because I plan on drinking liberally this winter. And I sure as hell don't plan on feeling bad about it.
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