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Do You Drink Like A Man?

Posted by Ina Maier

 

Listen up, readers! Scanner public service announcement here, courtesy of DASL and whatever those letters stand for.

Apparently, if you like to drink, drink a lot, or drink in a manner that DASL would deem masculine, well, then be prepared to bear a striking resemblance to an aged, besotted she-male. But wait, there’s more! The fine print after the jump…

Wine doesn’t just come with cheese. For women it’s also accompanied by hair loss, wrinkles, and obesity, plus the other problems like breast cancer, early menopause and memory loss.

That’s right. According to the above ad, drinking doesn’t only kill your liver, it kills your looks. And if font size is representative of severity, the loss of your looks is far scarier than “breast cancer, early menopause, and memory loss.”

We’re not sure what we're more offended by: the implication that men are better drinkers or that the threat of cancer can’t hold a candle to our complexions.

[Contexts Magazine, via]

Related:

New York Mag News Flash: Women Drink Like Men, Except Not

Kanye West Wants You To Be Like Him, This Apparently Involves Lots of Alcohol

Researchers Shocked and Appalled to Find Young People Use Drugs and Alcohol to Enhance Sex


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Comments

Litmus said:

I'm no authority but might propose that DASL could stand for Daughters of the American Slut League. Or Disgruntled Asswholes Suck Lemons (sic).  I wrest my kase.

February 2, 2009 4:20 PM

Emily Farris said:

Hey, if all that whiskey I throw back means I don't have to wax very often, bring it on!

February 2, 2009 4:22 PM

Litmus said:

Sorry Emily, Man creatures grow more hair down below including their chests.  Waxing will become a daily ritual.

February 2, 2009 7:19 PM

thinkywritey said:

Drug and Alcohol Service for London, FYI. Where it's okay to be a wrinkly, gin-blossomed drunk, as long as you're male.

February 3, 2009 1:42 PM

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