We would like to preface these very sloppy seconds by telling you we think these things are true. But you know how media outlets like to play April Fool's jokes. Ugh.
Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has been voted off of "Dancing with the Stars." [Yahoo!]
Chris Brown has an entire women's basketball team to beat up. [Us]
Mariah Carey celebrated her 40th birthday with husband Nick Cannon. In other news Mariah Carey is 40! [People]
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