After months of doing this feature, we started to wonder:  are we being Europhobic?  Are our America-centric viewing habits getting the best of us?  Are countless Frenchmen, Germans, and Italians snubbing our film blog because of our unwillingness to feature beloved character actors from the Continent in That Guy!?  Well, that ends today.  For today we feature, as the lead singer of Korn gracefully put it, "the man with the fucked-up eyes":  Mr. Udo Kier.  Wherever he goes, Udo (as is befitting a man named Udo) is a candidate for the strangest man in the country.  He has played a vampire or a zombie at least a dozen times, and he is likely the only actor in the history of the world to have appeared in films by Gus van Sant, Ranier Werner Fassbinder, Lars von Trier, Andy Warhol, and Rob Zombie.  Resembling nothing so much as a Helmut Newton photograph come to some semblance of three-dimensional life, Udo Kier -- who was born in Germany and almost died hours later when Allied bombers pulverized the hospital in which he was born -- cannot rightly be called a character actor so much as he can a cult actor.  Whether he's going to be a leader or a member of that cult depends on the role.  Truth be told, Udo isn't even one of the finer actors we've featured in this space; his presence in a film isn't so much a promise of a gripping performance to come as it is a dire warning that something very, very fucked up is about to happen.  He's appeared in a staggering number of films -- as many as 150 at last count -- and it is putting it extremely mildly to say that they range greatly in quality.  He was in Berlin Alexanderplatz; he was also in Spermula, a movie that we assure you we are not making up.  He was in Dogville; he was also in Barb Wire.  He has worked with some of the most talented American and European directors of the last half-century; he also put on a spanking costume and posed in Madonna's "Sex" book, and smeared fresh animal offal over his face at the behest of Paul Morrisey.  What will he do next?  Believe us when we say that a man who has been directed by both Quentin Tarantino and Uwe Boll within the last year is capable of anything.

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