i like the "the knowledge was always inside me like apring coiled" ... generally effective rendering of young sex but i, unlike previous reader, did not like the juxtaposition of fathers commentary -- a little contrived w/o much payoff for the interruption.

I agree with the previous comment that the literary style, the mannered run-on sentences, is annoying. That said, the pacing was excellent, and I enjoyed the juxtaposition of the two narratives, the men discussing war within their walls of books, and the two lovers. I thought he sewed them together very effectively.

As for visceral response, the narrator's excitement and urgency came across, but the sex wasn't particularly hot. I didn't have the impression that that was really the point.

JSF is a good, whimsical writer and has the potential to be great, but he should get over this infatuation with endless paragraphs and no punctuation. It makes his otherwise-inventive narrative annoying to read and doesn't add enough to justify it in my opinion. As to the hotness of this passage it's pretty much in keeping with most of his sex scenes in other works: the boy is frightened and exalted but the girl doesn't enjoy herself.