New Address, New Look, But We Love You Just As Much
10/11/2007 12:37:50 PM
Scanner has moved! Please join the new party here. Love and David Hasselhoff for everyone.
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Crush of the Week: Cate Blanchett
10/8/2007 4:00:00 PM
Oh, boy. We are super-sprung for Cate Blanchett. Can you believe she hasn’t been a “Crush of the Week” before? What gigantic oversight has brought about this tragedy? It’s like Martin Scorsese never winning an Oscar. But now Marty has his mitts on a shiny gold statue, and now Cate Blanchett is getting the COTW props she deserves. We mean, seriously. This is a woman who is playing Queen Elizabeth and Bob Dylan this fall. Swoon! We don’t need to tell you why we love Cate Blanchett. You already know why we love Cate Blanchett.
And for that, she is our Crush of the Week. — SH
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The 2008 Republican National Convention: Wide-Stance Narrow Politics
10/8/2007 3:10:00 PM
Here's the new logo for the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minneapolis. Daily Kos has some excellent insights into the wide-standing, prison stripe wearing Dumbo. —NP
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Video of the Day: Balloon Bowl
10/8/2007 2:05:00 PM
Because it's Columbus Day, and we're about to head to the half-pipe ourselves, here's a little something for the sportier Looners out there. —NP
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Today’s Wife Carrying Story Brought to Us by… Pennsylvania!
10/8/2007 12:36:10 PM
It was a real nail-biter in this weekend’s wife-carrying contest. But Keith Cardoza and Julia Stoner have secured their place at the world championship in Finland. (Shout out to the Finns! Our people!) Next year, we’re hoping to see new bride Pam Anderson. That is, if the marriage lasts that long. — SH
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The Official Beginning of the End for R. Kelly
10/8/2007 12:15:00 PM
Ring....Ring...Hey, R. Yeah, just watched your new video. How'd we like it? Weeeeell. We think we may owe you an apology. See, for years now, we've supported you pretty unconditionally, and that may have been a mistake. After Trapped in the Closet, instead of saying "Oh, man, what a genius! R. Kelly could sing our grocery list and we'd listen to it!" we should have said, "Oh, man. Somebody stop this guy before he sings our grocery list and we're forced to listen to all 500 episodes of it." It seems we've been overly encouraging in the past. Like parents who let their 5'3" asthmatic son believe he could play professional basketball because they want to be supportive. Now that we've seen the video for "Real Talk," we'd like to take it all back. Because when you're on YouTube having your hair braided, it's time for a little tough love. (via Best Week Ever) —NP
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Warner Bros Disses the Ladies. Somewhere, Dane Cook Is Laughing, Bro.
10/8/2007 10:41:03 AM
A few understandably outraged readers have sent us this story, alleging that Warner Bros president of production Jeff Robinov has responded to the disappointing box office of Jodie Foster’s The Brave One by claiming that, "We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead.” Huh. We here at Scanner have no insight as to whether or not Mr. Robinov actually said this; Robinov only speaks to us in foot taps. But we do know this is just the kind of shit someone at Warner Bros would say in response to the mediocre sales of a mediocre movie. Like: It’s not the movie’s fault; it’s the bitches. Linda Obst will probably have a few choice words to say about this. For our part, we can only offer eye rolls. You know, when Good Luck, Chuck tanks, no one has the good sense to draw a line in the sand and say, “We are no longer doing movies with Dane Cook.” But a girl can dream! — SH
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In 1492, Scanner Sailed the Ocean Blue
10/8/2007 9:19:42 AM
Happy Columbus Day, you sexy thing. In your honor, we have discovered a country this morning. We call that country LOVE. If you are lucky enough to get the day off from work, congratulations. We hate you. No, no, we mean: We’ll see you tomorrow. If you are working today, we’ll be posting sporadically, in between our traditional Columbus Day rituals. You know, planting a flag in our pants, giving each other Prince Valiant bikini waxes, clown porn. The usual stuff.
In the meantime, we have a question. Christopher Columbus: Hot or Not???
Oh, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to give props to this great country, such as, America. And remember: Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear. — SH
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