Sex Advice From Sex Addicts

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Taylor, 49

I'm pretty shy and have trouble approaching members of the opposite sex. I'd really like to get some action this weekend. What should I do?
Put up a profile on one of the swingers websites. Describe yourself and let them know that you are "available and willing to have fun... this weekend." There's always someone looking for some action and there's always someone looking for a "third."

I have a friend I'd like to make "a friend with benefits." What is your advice for making that transition?
Tell them that there is nothing better than a good friend who understands you. And since you're such good friends you'd feel most comfortable exploring your sexual desires with them... a good friend. No love, no drama, no strings... just sex, friendship and benefits for all.

Give us some tips on making a quickie satisfying.
taylor Be responsible for your own orgasm. Quickies are all about you and you only. Get yours, be done, but always thank them for their support.

I recently heard someone say, "A boner in the back is not foreplay." What's the bare minimum of foreplay in a non-quickie sexual encounter?
One, tell me what you want to do to me. Two, kiss me deeply and passionately. Three, caress me all over.

What's a dealbreaker in the bedroom?
Bad hygiene. Pain.

What are the rules of dating a sex addict?
Know that they love you and that they love sex — at different times, one more than the other.

How do you share the details of your sexual addiction when you are dating someone new?
After your first sexual encounter you let them know about your "high libido" and that you have no plans of being with only one person, but would enjoy being with them again and again. They will have to decide whether to hang with you or not.

Comments ( 18 )

The difference between “high libido” and sex addiction is that addicts can’t stop their sexual behavior, even when they themselves feel it’s out of control. Never mind the boundaries they’ve agreed on with their partners; if you’re in a long-term relationship with a sex addict, I advise you to be prepared to feel violated every time you learn about their newest level of acting out, and know what your bottom line is, that is, the behavior that you just absolutely won’t accept. Open relationships, which anyone would advise require honesty and communication, are impossible with an addict. There’s no emotional intimacy or genuine interaction. It’s ALL about the addict getting laid, and NOTHING stands in the way of it, not even the “rules” they agree upon with their partners. Most sex addicts don’t actually get laid very often anyway, but they spend an ENORMOUS amount of time seeking partners and fantasizing about sex. I noticed that none of the interviewees mentioned the feelings of shame, loneliness, or depression common to addicts after a sexual encounter. The people you’ve interviewed are either in denial about their addiction, or they aren’t addicts. They’re just people who like to have lots of sex with lots of different people, and that’s not pathological, that’s just fun.

Sarah commented on Aug 14 09 at 10:15 am

This is ridiculous, it would never be acceptable to have Sex Advice from Meth Addicts or Sex Advice from Alcoholics. This is making light of a psychological problem.

Katie commented on Aug 15 09 at 2:25 am

sarah, lawl to the last bit you said and indeed, i agree.

mehk commented on Aug 15 09 at 4:58 am

I actually think sex advice from meth addicts would be kind of hilarious. But maybe that's just me . . .

anathema commented on Aug 15 09 at 2:23 pm

Now that I think about it, I do get most of my sex advice from alcoholics.

GB commented on Aug 15 09 at 3:02 pm

Having known sex addicts, this is a bit unsettling. Would we take drinking advice from alcoholics?

m commented on Aug 15 09 at 10:57 pm

i agree. knowing someone who is an actual sex addict and seeing the way it tore their life apart one realizes how it is not the glamorized condition people think it is. i hope they rethink something similar to this in the future.

strangelove commented on Aug 16 09 at 10:55 am

Pornography, which is especially the problem of men, is the second main factor in the life of a sex addict. This can mean porn magazines, films or material on the Internet that is used to seek for satisfaction. For example on the Internet general headwords concerning this issue are … By them people seek for satisfaction.

One problem with pornography is that it does not bring long-lasting satisfaction to us. These magazines or films kind of promise that you will find the erotic picture you have always been looking and longing for, but the satisfaction does not last for long. As time goes by, many may experience the same as alcoholics and drug addicts: they need more and more powerful stimulus to experience the same stimulation as before, because the amount of pleasure diminishes.

More info: https://koti.phnet.fi/elohim/sexaddiction

telson commented on Aug 18 09 at 4:45 am

Whaaat? 'Dating Advice from Sex Addicts'? Why would I want advice about sex from people whose lives have been ruined by it?

spinal commented on Aug 21 09 at 8:37 am

Thank you telson for your comment. Sexual addiction takes many different shapes and forms, and internet porn addictions should not be left out of the equation. Hooksexup, I think you're making light of a subject that deserves more serious attention. Be careful how you toss around "sex addict".

tonshel commented on Aug 23 09 at 11:02 am

I have to masturbate twice before I get a massage. My cock still gets hard during the massage ans then she usually finished me off as I blow my load all over! Why do I become so horny?

Brian commented on Oct 18 09 at 2:12 pm

Sexual addiction is generally defined as a compulsion to look for sex dating at any cost. It can accept any form of sexual activity, compulsive masturbation, relations of order, to pay for sex. I have read this interesting story about sex addiction blog here:
https://ping.fm/M92vu :)

monica mstevens commented on Feb 23 10 at 2:03 am

Dear Hooksexup:

I really need to score some smack.
Could you put on some heroin addicts so I ride me some tiger?

xoxoxox
John Belushi

TB commented on Apr 03 10 at 2:49 am

Just by what 2/3 said about dating sex addicts, there's no way I'd be down. Open relationships are just a magnet for emotional distress and herpes. No healthy person would be OK with that.

Owlie commented on Apr 03 10 at 2:46 pm

You definitely need that extra ounce of masochism to want to go steady with a high libido, or promiscuous person. You'd have to learn that sex is not just with you or about you and that your partner can fuck someone else when you least expect it, and that they are not doing this because they want to hurt you, even though they might. Sometimes they just live out what most of us fantasize about whether this is fair or not.

R.P. commented on Apr 04 10 at 8:04 pm

seems like some pretty selfish bahaviour

Firn commented on Apr 05 10 at 6:35 pm

My father is a sex addict when I was little I "fetched" new playmates for my father without even knowing until looking back realizing every single friend I had had a single mother and we spent an awful amount of time there then all of a sudden my parents would move me and my sister. My fathers addiction tore my family apart. They divorced and I stayed with my father. I remember spending hours on end in sex shop parking lots. My father was a good dad but a horrible man. My father has now re-married and I have two more little sisters and my fathers behavior is now going to scar my little sisters the way it did me. I seriously think they need to take this down for making light the disease. It's not a joke. I really find this offensive because I've lived in the aftermath of a sex addict. I still have intimacy issues. My father sadly can't admit the error of his ways. So yeah this is coming from a child of a sex addict.

nikki commented on Apr 07 10 at 4:11 pm

sex has the great conundrum about it. If you look at porn you won't catch a disease, but if you 'hang' with people you won't lose your mind, you'll be grounded in real experience. I think that is the most important, tolook your 'partner' in the eye and love them and don't hide.

tomg commented on May 26 10 at 8:55 am

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