Sex Advice From . . . Bodybuilders

Christine, 32
www.cenvall.com

What are some of the sexual benefits of becoming a bodybuilder?
There are heaps of benefits. Generally there are more men involved in the sport than women, so there is a good male/female ratio, which increases your chances of meeting guys. Most of the people you meet at the gym are in better shape and happier with their bodies, so they’re more sexually confident. Muscle control is increased with weight training, which has huge benefits with being able to control orgasms.

What’s the most undervalued muscle for sex?
Abdominal muscles, without a doubt. For women, being able to hold an isometric contraction can be critical to reaching an orgasm during sex.

What is the sexiest body part?
I’m a sucker for lean, vascular forearms.

What are some good ways of turning someone down after you’ve had sex with them once, and once was enough?
I’d give it another go and try to make it better. I’ve never been with anyone who was that bad. Maybe that’s because I haven’t been with a non-bodybuilder for so long. What does that say about bodybuilders and sex?

How do you tell your lover that he’s never given you an orgasm?
A good friend and inspirational lover once said to me, “We are all responsible for our own orgasms." He was right. You work with your partner to achieve an orgasm; it’s not something that is done to you.

My boyfriend is very close with an ex-girlfriend. He claims they’re just friends, but I can’t help being jealous. What should I do about it?
Accept that they’re probably still more than just friends, and decide if you’re willing to live with that. Ask yourself why he isn’t still with her. Sometimes people fill different aspects of a person’s life. You’ll never be able to be all people to your partner, but that doesn’t diminish your relationship. If you aren’t willing to accept her as a part of his life — and I’m not saying you have to — then perhaps you should move on. It’s hard to prevent someone from doing something they want, without it negatively impacting how they feel about you.

Any exercise videos that will get me in shape and in the mood?
Try watching my training video: Christine Envall — Superfreak.

Ray a.k.a. Stingray, 30
www.stingrayarde.com

Is it ever okay to hook up with your trainer?
I typically try to maintain a strict business relationship with my female clients, although there have been a couple of "special" ones. There was this one girl that I trained last year. She once offered to undress so I could "check her fat." I didn’t oblige. But soon enough, one thing led to another . . .

My girlfriend always wants me to go down on her. I hate doing it but want to please her. How can I learn to enjoy it?
Try putting your favorite scented lotion on the area. My favorite is a coconut scent by Victoria Secret. With it, I always get aroused and have fun eating away.

What do the following fitness routines say about a person’s sexual characteristics:
– A woman who only takes yoga and pilates?
Sexually frustrated, likes gentle sex.

– A guy who goes on long runs alone?
Sexually frustrated, not getting enough.

– A female bodybuilder?
Definitely sexually frustrated! Not enough sex at home so she had to find peace at the gym.

Who isn’t sexually frustrated in your book? What about the regulars at cardio striptease class?
They’re not getting enough sex at home, and they like foreplay and watching pornos while having sex.

What workout gear could double as bedroom paraphernalia?
Have your partner lay down on a medicine ball with their legs spread open.

Juliette Bergmann, 46
www.juliettebergmann.com

Is there ever an instance when it’ s okay to hook up with your trainer?
My trainer has been my partner for twenty years already. For me, clients are strictly business. When you are too “nice” with clients, you always get problems when you have to ask for your money.

My girlfriend always wants me to go down on her. I hate doing it. I want to please her, so how can I learn to enjoy it?
Well, is she going down on you? And if so, do you care if she likes it or not? If you really love her, you enjoy it because she enjoys it. You could also try eating raw herring or raw fish to get used to the taste.

What do the following fitness routines say about a person’s sexual characteristics:
-A woman who only takes yoga and pilates?
She does it the way the magazines and books tell her to.

-A guy who goes on long runs alone?
Selfish!

-A female bodybuilder?
She’s up for everything — no limits.

-The regulars at cardio striptease class?
Frigid.

My boyfriend is very close with an ex-girlfriend. He claims they’re just friends, but I can’t help being jealous. What should I do about it?
Get close with her, when he visits her, go with him. If it’s just friendship, he’ll have no problem with it. In fact, he’ll love it.

Eryk, 34

What are some good ways of turning someone down after you’ve had sex with them once, and once was enough?
If the company is good but the sex is bad, don’t make yourself so available next time. In other words, don’t get into a situation where all there is to do is have sex. If it’s something you’re not proud about, period, don’t call and don’t take their phone calls. It’s brutal, but mercy-fucking is not going to help them, and it certainly doesn’t help you.

Are there any exercises I can get my boyfriend to do to improve his libido?
Performing “forced reps” are great for the libido. These are repetitions that require a spotter. That can be you. Having him aggressively squeeze out the last “forced reps” with your help will cause his body to kick out testosterone. Testosterone is directly related to sexual desire.

How do you tell your lover the following:
-Their body needs some serious toning?
Be proactive in your suggestions. Don’t just tell them to work out. Go out there and work out with them. Be a team, because I’m sure there are things your partner doesn’t like about you. Treat others, especially your lover, with the same respect and sensitivity you’d like to be treated with.

-Their oral sex technique needs improving?
Again, be proactive. I masturbate in front of my girlfriend because it turns her on and tells her where I am most sensitive. It turns me on when my girlfriend lets me know either with a moan or a verbal reply that I’ve done something to give her the tingles.

What are some good pick-up lines to use at the gym?
Would you mind if I shared your bench? Can you actually feel that movement? Can you show me what I am doing wrong? What competition are you getting ready for?

I like watching porn, especially right before sex. The girl I’m dating considers it cheating. How can I get her into it?
She feels threatened because it makes her feel inadequate. Do you give her regular compliments about how sexy she is? Try to dispel her fears and reassure her. Talk to her about how it turns you on to fantasize about the two of you performing the sex acts seen in the video.

What workout gear could double as bedroom paraphernalia?
An inclinable weight bench is all you need. Although I enjoy wearing a jockstrap in the bedroom, because it shows off my ass.  n°

Interviews by Liza Gennatiempo.

Sex Advice From… appears on Thursdays. Do you have sex-advice questions for the general public? Send them to .