Tara, 26
What’s the best reason to date someone who lives with his or her parents?
If they like you, there are dinners, free food, and likely a better entertainment system. Some parents don’t even mind if their kid shacks up on the premises, but if they’re more traditional, hey, it just makes the sex spicier. And you can hit up your rent-free significant other to pick up the tab more often.
I just started dating someone who lives with her parents, but I’d like to put off meeting them for a few weeks. Any tips for how to sneak into the house without getting caught by Mom and Dad?
Don’t do it! If it’s just a mutually understood, casual thing, then maybe getting caught could be fun, in a primetime teen drama kind of way, so long as you don’t mind getting chased out of the house with a gun or pitchfork. However, if you are really into the girl, and her parents catch you, they’ll immediately mistrust and dislike you. Which is a total relationship cockblock.
I met this really great guy but he lives with his parents. It’s kind of a turn-off. What should I do?
I think you should ask yourself why it’s a turn-off. I can understand alarms going off if he’s in his mid-thirties and his mom still packs his lunch complete with Disney-themed fruit snacks. However, maybe he’s trying to get through school and doesn’t want to accumulate tens of thousands of dollars in student loans. If it’s a turn-off because it represents other issues you have with him, look at those.
I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my parents asked us both over for dinner. One thing: he’s old enough to be my father. Should I warn my parents beforehand?
I would once again point out the unpleasantness of him being chased out with guns or pitchforks, or maybe even a morning-star. Of course you have to warn them! Perhaps embellish how the two of you came to fall so deeply in love against all odds, as a means of dispelling the creepy factor. However, if the relationship isn’t stable, or if he’s married, or you’re underage, I wouldn’t even go there quite yet.
What’s the best way to tell someone you’re dating that you live with your parents? Whenever it comes up. There’s no need to announce it in the first five minutes of meeting someone, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue. If it is, it’s not like you’re going to be magically transported into another living situation, so it’s going to come up anyway.
My boyfriend loves giving oral sex, but it makes me really self-conscious. Are there ways to chill out or should I just forget about it all together?
There’s always getting drunk. But seriously, I used to have hang-ups about that too. One trick I used to use was closing my eyes and picturing myself and my partner as some sexy celebrities, or even fictional characters who turn me on, so I could sort of displace myself for a few minutes, and then once it started feeling really good, the self-consciousness wore off and I could re-engage. But getting drunk is easier.
The girl I’m seeing is bisexual. She said she could be monogamous with a man, but could never give up women. I really like this girl, and I know it should be a man’s dream come true, but don’t think I could handle her seeing other women. How can I convince her that cheating is cheating, regardless of gender?
I’d suggest you ask how she’d feel if you were with a man, but then you might have a devil’s threesome on your hands. And in your mouth. Most guys I know fantasize about lesbian action, even if it involves their girlfriend. If you’ve made it clear that you don’t want that, then monogamy is monogamy, so don’t be a pussy and put your foot down! No pun intended. (Actually, pun completely intended.)
Peter, 30
What’s the best reason to date someone who lives with his or her parents?
At least you know that this person is capable of living with someone for years and remaining on speaking terms with them. If they’re capable of loving their family, they’re capable of loving your stupid head, too.
What has living with your parents taught you about dating?
That dating is difficult when you’re living with your parents. It’s not easy to find someone who thinks it’s fine. They are the real keepers, though. And did you see that article in the New York Times this week? We’re kids until we’re thirty-five or something now. My dad will be gone this weekend. Can you say kegger? Did I just say kegger? Yeah, maybe not.
I met this really great guy but he lives with his parents. It’s kind of a turn-off. What should I do?
You should invite him over your place more, perhaps. But you should still try to get to know him. Because if you’re looking for someone to be with for the rest of your life, and you think he has potential, you’d be cheating yourself if you dismissed him for that reason. Or you can go eff yourself. Did I take that one personally or what?
I’ve been dating this guy for two months. We see each other about three days per week. Yesterday, he told me he loved me. I like him a lot, but I’m not ready to say it back. What’s the best way to avoid saying it without seeming like I don’t care?
Say thank you and then say something nice to him. Something that is close to the L word that will convey that you have feelings as well. For instance, "I can’t imagine not spending time with you the way we do. You mean a lot to me." Then touch him inappropriately. I am kidding about that last part (only a little bit).
My boyfriend loves giving oral sex, but it makes me really self-conscious. Are there ways to chill out or should I just forget about it all together?
Why are you self-conscious? Do you have some kind of issue downstairs? If you’re worried, you should see a doctor. If he goes downtown regularly with a smile though, I would say everything is all right. Try smoking a bowl before sex, maybe?
The girl I’m seeing is bisexual. She said she could be monogamous with a man, but could never give up women. I really like her, and this should be a man’s dream-come-true, but don’t think I could handle her seeing other women. How can I convince her that cheating is cheating, regardless of gender?
This sounds like it could be a deal-or-no-deal type situation. Everyone has to compromise somewhat for the person they love, because our lovers weren’t tailor-made for us. So be upfront, and honest about how you feel about it. Then discuss and see what you two can come up with. And really dude, threesomes are a lot of fun. Like a lot.
Zak, 23
What’s the best reason to date someone who lives with his or her parents?
Free food, comfortable homey feel, and possibly free drinks.
What has living with your parents taught you about dating?
No one is as sneaky as they think they are. You will get caught, at least once.
I just started dating someone who lives with her parents. I’d like to put off meeting them for a few weeks. Any tips for how to sneak into the house without getting caught by Mom and Dad?
Wait until they are asleep. Sound asleep. Going over around their bedtime never works, because they’re still perceptive to outside sounds. Also, plan visits around your parents’ trips out of town.
I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my parents asked us both over for dinner. One thing: he’s old enough to be my father. Should I warn my parents beforehand?
I’d say yes. Although it shouldn’t matter, it will. Break it to them gently, so they know the situation. Surprises like that never work out the way you think they will.
This girl I’m seeing is super-loud in bed. I love it, but the neighbors don’t. They’ve called twice now to complain. How can I quiet things down, without dimming her awesome enthusiasm?
Soundproof your room. You can buy many different sorts of foam padding. Or you can just ignore your neighbors.
What’s the best way to tell someone you’re dating that you live with your parents?
There probably isn’t a right moment, but the way the economy is today, it might not be as weird for them as you think it will be. Living with parents seems lame, but hopefully it’s only temporary.
My girlfriend tells me that online porn is cheating, so I pretended to stop looking. The truth, though, is that all guys everywhere look at porn. I hate having to lie, but I don’t want to stop. How can I make her stop taking it so seriously?
Not really sure what the answer is to this one. You could stop, or keep going, or ditch her because really, who doesn’t like porn?