9. "I was born and raised into a Hasidic community..."
Male • 19 years old • Brooklyn, NY
I was a month short of nineteen, and it was my wedding day. At three o'clock in the afternoon I had an appointment with the "groom instructor," a rabbi who specialized in teaching young grooms the ins and outs of sex. No pun intended.
I was born and raised into a Hasidic community where separation of the sexes was so extreme that men and women walked on different sides of the street. Sex education was not only non-existent, the mere acknowledgement of the act was enough to turn faces red. I was vaguely aware of romance as a secular (and very uncouth) form of interplay between the sexes. Pornography was a word I looked up in the dictionary years later. I knew nothing of female anatomy except that girls had no penises. I knew sex involved the male organ entering some crevice in the female body, and I imagined — perhaps just by intuiting a male-female anatomical symmetry — that said crevice was somewhere in the nether regions. Lacking anything more substantial, I spent most of my teen years imagining that point of entry to be what others considered only a point of exit. Needless to say, I had mixed feelings about the whole idea.
At exactly three p.m. I knocked on the rabbi's door, and an emaciated-looking man with a very long beard led me into his study. Heavy religious texts were strewn about on almost every available surface.
He opened a large volume lying on the desk and read the first paragraph: "One who marries a virgin takes possession of her, and separates from her immediately." In other words, after the act, one must adhere to the applicable laws regarding a menstruating woman — the most important of which is, no physical contact whatsoever.
I freaked out. I needed the basics, not the religious laws on what comes afterwards. I needed to know what goes where, what to say to her, what or what not to wear. I wanted technical details of biology, perhaps some guidance on positions, and the like. But I was too stunned to say anything.
Throughout the session he referred to sex as "the mitzvah," literally, "the commandment," which was also the term my friends and I later used on those rare occasions we dared mention it, a topic deemed so vulgar that even with the euphemism it felt taboo.
Luckily, after twenty minutes the rabbi closed his book. "Tonight," he said, "when the wedding is over, begin preparing for the mitzvah right away, since it will be late and it must be done before daybreak."
I freaked all over again. Tonight? Given my mistaken notions of what the sexual act entailed, I wasn't prepared for such immediacy. I needed time. I wasn't even sure I was attracted to the girl I was marrying; as was customary, the marriage was arranged, and I'd only met her for a brief fifteen minutes prior to the engagement party six months earlier.
Illustration by Thomas Pitilli |
After this Hooksexup-wracking hour, however, my concerns were sufficiently allayed when the rabbi explained the act with a lot of hand gesturing. It was still an entirely unexciting proposition, but I felt comfortable enough to go through with it.
Hours later, with the wedding party over, the guests gone, and the gifts inventoried, my new wife and I began preparing for the mitzvah. Dressed in the requisite clothing (nightgown for her, nightshirt for me), with a heavy sheet hung over the window curtains to ensure total darkness, we fumbled our way into bed. Still virtual strangers, we moved about each other shyly, awkwardly adjusting to the unfamiliar intimacy. I did exactly as I'd been told: I gave her a kiss on the lips, said "I love you" in Yiddish (incidentally, a language most unsuitable for amorous expression), and we both lifted our clothes as I moved on top of her.
Something was definitely wrong. A piece seemed missing. I was sufficiently erect, she claimed to have no anatomical peculiarities, but something didn't fit. Hard as I tried, I couldn't get my penis into any kind of body cavity.
It was almost four in the morning, but I didn't care. I called the rabbi. "Tell her to lubricate her area with some water," he advised and hung up. We tried that. Nothing doing. I called the rabbi again. "Tell her to take your 'organ' with her hands and direct it to the position."
After many more tries, my penis long flaccid by the unerotic disaster the whole business had become, we determined that I must have already penetrated, and we called it a night. Owing to the intricacies of Jewish law, we couldn't have sex for the next two weeks. After which we tried again, and pretty much the same thing happened. After another two week interval we tried it again.
Given our track record, the whole thing was turning into a drag. Expecting another frustrating round of fumbling in the dark with vague guesses as to whether it had "worked" or not, we braced ourselves and looked forward to getting it over with. But this time something was different. As soon as my erect penis put just a little pressure against her vaginal area something magical happened. Something gave way, and all I felt was the overwhelming violence of my throbbing penis, a sensation I'd never felt before.
I can't say my wife felt as much pleasure as I did, but she was definitely relieved to know that it finally "worked." We felt like congratulating ourselves; it was our first challenge as a married couple, and we'd pulled it off.
It would be a long time before sex would come to resemble anything like the pleasurable experience intended by nature. It took months before I dared to caress her back, touch her breasts, put my hands on her butt, and suggest we get fully naked. But when those moments came — as we navigated this new carnal territory, finding our own rhythm in the act previously considered so animalistic and therefore, best avoided — they carried an erotic energy that would be unmatched by anything later on.
NEXT: "I think about him even thirty years later..."
Commentarium (60 Comments)
this is great. The Hasidic one is my favorite
Perfect sex in a hammock sounds good on paper. But man, being on bottom while merely making out was a bit wobbly. I give them props for making this happen.
Another case of how religion makes things crap.
you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.
you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.
you fucking bitch. i probably dont sound like in right now but(t) im catholic. bitch. bitch. bitch.
Catholic scum
LOL. That was the saddest story I've ever read, how wrong that is!
'Rocky' is an idiot.
Glad to know I'm the only one who didn't loose their virginity as a teenager... :-\
No you're not Steve.
You are definitely not the only one Steve :)
Totally not the only one, Steve.
feel the pain of others
You waited until you were a teenager?
The second story that ended with handcuffs must have been from a long time ago. If something like that happened today there would be sex offender charges thrown in there instead of just a misdemeanor.
The second story with police happened to me and my girlfriend before. The cop was a total dick telling me to "get the f*** out of here, you disgust me" and "How dare you take advantage of this girl like this". It was pretty rediculous how bad they were trying to make it look. I was 19 and she was 18. Not my first time having sex, but I can relate to the story.
Wish the illustrations had a bit more diversity when the narrator's features weren't explicitly described.
its so sad for the last story
:(
The 4th story is beautiful and sad and lovely and so well-written.
Yeah, no you're not Steve.
Great stuff, but would be nice to include at least one boy-boy or girl-girl first timer.
agreed.
yeah, it's weird that this is mostly white people illos with the only non-white being... the prostitute? :( and let's get some successful queer stories in here. reflect the rest of us a bit more?
Mine's closest to the hammock...but I was 25... :-D
I would have expected at least one story to involve vehicular sex.
This Gets me hard
My wife and I waited till we got married to have sex,we had sex 1 time on our honeymoon.I thought it was the greatest ever,,.she said that she would never do that again..and she did not...You should have sex before you get married to make sure you both like it,
I am sex men
So im a 19 year old male and a virgin. ive gotten a BJ once but i dnt count that as sex... It gets to me sometimes that i am when most 0of my friends arent. Sometime i dnt want it to be random. I want it to be with someone i care abt...but the way things are im just gonna have to go with a random person......
James may
Noo, do not do that, "okay". It is called peer pressure. Just keep cool and don't do anything rash like that. Wait for "the" person. :)
i had my first time tody! it was amazing....
i had my first time tody! it was amazing....
I believe that what matters the most is 1) you love them, 2) they love you, and 3) you don't regret it later. I regret the first time, even though we waited over a year. However my bf now (he's my second) and I did it after almost 3 months, and it was the first time I had ever made love. My only regret is I wish I had saved myself for him <3
these stories are great, they all seem pretty realistic! The one in the hammock reminds me of my first time the most though.
The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.
Good stories! Thumbs up
The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.
Good stories! Thumbs up
The last story... it's wonderful. It's like a story from an old literature book. It makes me sad but it makes me aware of how wonderful it is to be young and carefree.
Good stories! Thumbs up
That a very intresting story and by intresting I mean weird but a very good lesson
Is it usually normal to have sex as a 10 year old? my younger sister is 10 and has had sex could it be possible to have a 10 year old and a 10 year old have sex?
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ithink im gonna have my first time soon. my boyfriend and i are ready. wonder how kiny it'll be ;)
follow me, snodder61 on twitter!!!, & harry jones on facebook!!!
i feel horny
s
m vergin
Wow
this thing make me horny
this one make mee horny
I am a man" and I think that you are not a Hor slut ETC you are a young beautiful woman who happened to lose her virginity to a nice young man. You should have married him he loved you I can tell live your life how you want to But youl find him one day?
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year but we want to wait until we're both 15 (about another year) for our first time. I'm really excited. My favorite story was the hammock one, it was so romantic.
Geez people! You should really wait until your married. If your religion says to wait, then wait. Don't have sex, because you might end up breaking up. It's not uncool to wait, if anything, it is extremely cool. But, if you ended up with the person you did it with, then I guess it's not that bad. But please people, just try to wait for marriage. Don't give in to peer presure. Please be strong. Don't be a hater on me just because I think people should wait for marrige. Just say that you don't agree. That's all you have to do. Well I guess I'm done here.
My current darling was my first time.
We went to school together for 6years straight not saying a word to each other. But by our last year of school he developed this crazy sudden jolt of interest in me. The first time we kissed it was the best first kiss I ever had. It was at a costume party and he was a tradie (slang for tradesman in Australia) and I was dressed as a 1960's lady. We kissed on a trampoline and slow danced on a dance floor fueled with heavy dance music. We were so zoned out by each other we didn't realize how out of place and ridiculous we looked.
After that kiss we started attending all the same teenage house parties. It was brilliant, we didn't even have to try to start any sort of mood. We knew we were going to get closer and closer each time we saw each other.
Then one party, funnily enough another costume party. I was wearing suspenders and a bowler hat and he had on this suave well fitting op-shop suit. He picked me up like a princess and carried me down some stairs outside, to the bottom of this very secluded grassy hill. As we kissed hands were everywhere. I wouldn't say I was as keen as him, I had never had sex before and he already knew of it's luxuries. He breathed all over my body and finally leaned into me and whispered 'Do you want to?' I just nodded. Before he was in he held himself right against me and said 'Don't worry, I'll look after you." and away we went.
I wouldn't say it was perfect, of course I was all 'ouch' under my breath, trying to disguise my displeasure with moans. But it was terribly sweet, he could of been all creepy and dirty talked, but instead he would say between pants 'are you okay?' 'is this alright?' We must of been down there for hours, because we got back to the party and everyone was gone. As we walked out of the party he said 'next time, we will try this in a bed."
Now older, we still have sex adventures. And on the nights where we don't have to worry about work the next day, we have 'sex marathons'. Oh, and no costumes needed anymore!
54swOK Sometimes I also see something like this, but earlier I didn`t pay much attention to this...
u3FX4H Cool! You have answered. I'll take a quote! The meaning of life and everything else. Decided. No kidding...
random name, idk y, but i like 9 best.
Had my first time today. It was painful but amazing none the less c:
am 18 me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time last night it was wonderful
Doing. It for the. First time with my bf/ best friend since preschool ( same person) on Friday I'm nervouse but ready =•3
I agree.......
:-P
Now you say something