Talking to Strangers: Bangkok Vacation

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

by Sarah Trowbridge
 

Assaf, 31

What's your relationship status?
I have a girlfriend.

Are you guys traveling together?
Yes, but she left four days ago, back to our home in Israel. When we took this trip, it was do or die for our relationship. I can't give you a straight answer if we decided to do or die. We got closer and we had our bad days too.

How did you guys meet?
Mutual friends. I was at my friend's house. I'm not much of a clubber, but I took her to the one place I know. It was a hard-rock club — Pantera, Megadeth. Then we continued to some place on a beach to get more intimate. I'm more of a home person though. I'm not a good role model for going out.

What do you think is unique about the dating scene in Israel?
It's a very loose, warm country. People are less uptight than in Europe, for example.

Are you generally more of a bachelor or a serial monogamist?
About fifty-fifty. I've had three other serious relationships. The longest was four-and-a-half years, on and off. I had another relationship for three years.

What is your relationship dynamic like? Did you guys move in together pretty quickly?
She moved in really quickly. I don't like having a girlfriend who lives separately. She moved into my apartment, and then three years ago we moved outside the city. We took that step of moving into the country.

How do you make sure you have time for yourself in your relationship?
I'm in a band. I think it's quite balanced. She's twenty-five, so she has some attention issues. But she's learned a lot. She admits there's some stuff she has to control with herself.

Does your band have any groupies?
No. And she trusts me. I am a very faithful person. Four years ago my parents divorced, after my dad had a romance on the side. I don't talk with my dad because of that. I have a lot of trust issues now. I keep myself on a short leash. I would never cheat, because it's not part of who I am, but I can't fully trust anyone either.

Any crazy hookups?
I've been to two orgies.

Tell me more.
I had a long-time friend, and she decided to make it happen. Smoking helped. Now, it would be too awkward. My girlfriend doesn't mind — we've thought of bringing in another girl to spice things up. All my friends are jealous — that's a fantasy girlfriend. But I can't imagine trying that anymore. The things I would have done five years ago look so absurd now.

Any other fantasies you have with your girlfriend?
I've always wanted to have sex with my girlfriend with someone watching. That'd be sexy.

What are attractive qualities in a woman?
I'm a really curious person. One thing I like about girls is that they're great listeners — they're interested. I like to talk about things that I know and things that I learn. Not from a point of view of, "Listen to this, see how much I know," but sharing. If a girl isn't patient or interested, that sucks. I'm an entertainer, so I have to know that I'm interesting enough. My girlfriend has ADD, so that can be a problem. She'll drift away while I'm talking, and I'll have to say, "Hello, am I boring you?"

What are your turn-offs?
Dishonesty, obviously. Lack of sense of humor. Do you believe in signs? I'm a Cancer. They tend to go through life pretty miserably, but I consider myself lucky.

Poppy, 22

What's your relationship status?
Newly in a relationship. I was seeing a guy for a couple months back home in England, but I had just gotten out of a serious relationship, so I freaked out and realized I needed to be a single for a bit. Then we started things up again in June. But we both were going to travel throughout the summer and fall. We had one month where we met up in Australia, and we spent ten days together there. We talked about things, and now I'm heading to Australia, maybe to make things more official. It's been about three weeks officially. Now I'm getting my work visa to try and make things work.

How long have you guys known each other?
About three years. We were friends first.

What about your previous relationship?
I was seventeen when we got together, and we stopped when I was twenty-one. It was quite a big chunk of time.

Are you guys still in contact?
Not at all, just because of the way things ended. He decided one day out of the blue he didn't want to be with me anymore. We had just booked a holiday in Rome. It was such a shock, I had to be as far away as possible from him. We're not even Facebook friends anymore. It was hard at first, but it's actually the best thing that's ever happened to me. Otherwise I wouldn't be here now, starting something new.

What's your policy towards monogamy while traveling?
I did my messing around before. It was kind of why we didn't make it official when we first started traveling. I didn't want to feel restricted. But I got it out of my system.

Any crazy hookup stories from your single mode?
I went to Fraser Island in Australia, and I hooked up with the tour guide. I thought he was quite hot, and the entire time he spent picking on me. On the last night, we sealed the deal. He was quite a bit older than me — thirty-nine — and I found out the next day he had a daughter a year younger than me. That was not good. He was Australian, which was kind of on my list — I thought it would be cool to get with an Australian while I was in Australia.

What do you wear when you're out on the town?
Lower-cut things, because I can. I have to wear heels, because I'm so short. I'm four-foot-eleven, so I have to wear heels to see over the bar.

What's your current beau like?
A ginger! He's younger than me, by a year, which is a bit strange. I've never been with someone younger than me. He might like to drink more than me. There might be a clash of the ages.

What qualities are you attracted to in men?
Everyone I've been with is different. Either we click or we don't. Looks and style fall to the wayside once I'm into them, but I don't know what makes me into them in the first place. I don't tend to go for manly men. The Australian was probably the most manly man I've been with. I'm attracted to arrogance, but I can't be in a relationship with someone like that.

Have you ever been offended in bed?
There was a guy who I met when I first got here who asked me to put my fingers up his bum. And there was no way I was going to do that. He said, "Okay, just thought I'd ask," but it was our first time. If he'd been my boyfriend and he had led up to that, it would have been okay.

Do you have rules about when you're willing to hook up with a guy?
Every relationship I've had, we've started out as friends. The guy I'm with now, I didn't want him to think that our hookup meant more than it did. But we were able to hang out together, and I explained to him that it was an isolated incident. He was quite happy that something had happened, and he was willing to have anything, whatever it was. And then eventually things led to a relationship.

Roberto, "immortal"

Where are you from?
Miami, Florida.

What do you do for a living?
I've been panhandling, for about the last twenty years.

Do you have any crazy panhandler hookup stories?
Just regular girls I meet on the streets. Sometimes they go all the way, sometimes they don't. I'm just standing here, taking what I can get. I'm really poor. My passport's about to expire — that's why I need money. I've been here for two years. I came here from Europe. That means a lot of visa runs.

Have you met many girls' parents?
No, not really. I knew it would be over after they met me. I knew once they saw how I lived, that's how it would be.

Have you been with any Thai women?
Yeah, too many [laughs].

How do Thai women compare to American women?
America's got the best looking women, but Thai women are beautiful too. When I was in America, most of the girls were pretty cool. But the Thais are happy to see you. What can do you? You have to go where you're wanted. If somebody is coming to you and they want to see you, it's much better than having to ask people to see you.

How many nationalities do you think you've hooked up with?
Fifteen or twenty, I can't remember.

Have you had public sex?
I've been seen with a lot of women — what can do you do? I lived in a girls' dorm in Sicily. It was pretty fun — I was happy to come home every night! I still don't how I got away with it. But it was cold in Sicily, so I needed a place to sleep. The food was pretty good.

How did your upbringing influence your views on sex?
I never thought about sex as a kid. I just looked at Penthouse. Girls were pretty tough — it was hard to get them to my house. But my parents weren't strict.

What age did you first have sex?
In college. I was nineteen.

Have you done anything crazy to get laid?
No, I just beg for change all day long. Things are slowing down now — it's getting tough to pick up women. You could stand there for two or three weeks and no women at all. Sometimes after one minute, a woman will offer money and place to sleep. But I don't count on that now.

Do you have any fantasies you want to fulfill?
I fantasize about making a lot of money really fast. I've been a lot of places; I've heard South America is cool. I heard you could go into a restaurant and play guitar, but I can't play guitar. But I'd have too much competition. I don't think any South American women are going to come running.