Talking to Strangers: Los Angeles, CA

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

By Laurenne Sala

Scott, 36

What do you do for a living?
I'm a personal trainer and yoga instructor.

Does that get you laid? 
The personal trainer part does not get me laid. The moment I tell a girl I'm a personal trainer, she gets self-conscious and asks me about how to fix her thighs. Yoga, on the other hand, absolutely does.

Really? How does that work? 
Well, it never works in class. I stay true to the teacher-student boundary. It works more when I'm out and I tell people what I do. Once you say you're a yoga instructor, girls really like that. I had a girlfriend who always introduced me as "The Yogi." It just has a cache to it, I guess.

I heard that yoga retreats are total orgies. Is that true? 
Um... I hold those environments very sacred. Those are special spaces for healing. But that might be because I'm the teacher. I've definitely heard about it happening with other people, people who are less strict about what their yoga practice looks like.

What's a good yoga pose to do during sex? 
Happy Baby. But that's sort of a given. I guess Hanumanasana, which is the split pose. I'm not saying that I would do it, but I could help someone get into it.

Is it weird to be the teacher in a class when everyone is doing Happy Baby? 
I mean, you just have to have a sensitivity about it. It could be creepy, but I try not to be.

You could potentially observe the outline of many labia during each class, but you choose not to? 
Right. I could see all the junk if I want to, but there are strategic places to stand in a yoga studio so that I don't make people uncomfortable.

What's your craziest sexual experience? 
I had sex with a British woman in a taxicab in India. Doesn't get more yogic than that.

Nice. How did that come about? 
Well, it was in Goa — the Cabo of India. We were going to go make out at the beach after a club, but I guess we couldn't really wait.

Did the cab driver get mad? 
I do remember him adjusting his mirror a little bit to get a better look.

And did you like that? 
I was not concerned with the driver at that moment.

Were you like, "I'm the man?"
Yes. It's a good story. And I realized that while it was happening. I was like, yes! I got a good sex story. Everyone likes to have a few good sex stories under their belts.

What if that happened here? Would you judge a girl for giving it up right away? 
Oh, I don't believe in that shit. If there's chemistry, there is chemistry.

What's the longest you've ever waited? 
I feel like that's a trick question. It implies that I wait. Sometimes I'm not sure if I want to have sex with someone. You're implying that a guy always wants to nail a girl right away, and that's just not the case with me. Maybe it was at one time, but now I sometimes take a girl out five or ten or twenty times before I know if I want to have sex with her. Because sex complicates things.

How so? 
I hate to say it, but I'm finally becoming an adult. I realize that sex deepens things and changes the relationship. Doesn't mean that I don't see a woman and want to do everything in my power to get her to fuck me. But I just have to not listen to the part of my brain that says that.

 

Gabriela, 32

What do you do for a living? 
I'm an entrepreneur. In the food industry.

Does that get you laid? 
Yes. I go to food shows all the time. It's quite a male-dominated industry, so it's really easy to stick out. It's kind of like a meat market, actually.

So how does it usually go from business to pleasure? 
So far it's been professional. We talk about our products, and it ends with, "Let's meet for coffee." Or sometimes you're both from out of town and you're stranded there in the same hotel for the show.

Oh, that's convenient. When was the last time you had sex? 
Three weeks ago.

How was it? 
It wasn't really that great. I realized that I was just a fling for this other person. It was more just something he needed at the time, and I was available. And when it was over he told me I was lucky to have been with him. Ew.

Did you slap him in the face? 
No. I guess I should have.

With whom did you have your best sex? 
My husband. I'm divorced. Sex with him was fun. And we had a real emotional connection, which I think is important for women. I knew that he loved and respected me.

Why the divorce? 
It's a cliche reason, but we basically grew apart. We got together when I was seventeen. I married my first boyfriend, and over the years we grew apart. I ignored the warning signs and thought there was something wrong with me.

What were the warning signs?
I didn't care to bring out the best in myself or him anymore. It was like we were both in a slump. I just didn't care. I was too comfortable not being happy.

So what was the final straw before you called it quits? 
I realized that I was just being selfish by staying in the relationship. I was just stringing him along, and he deserved to know I was mentally checked out so he could then make intelligent decisions on what he wanted to do.

Have you made up for lost time? 
Yeah. I've been dating a lot, but from the last few shitty dates, I realized I'm a relationship girl. I had some fun this past year, but I don't think I want to just casually date anymore. I've been in L.A. a little over a year, and I do find the guys here are pretty narcissistic.

What is your craziest sexual experience? 
Nothing too crazy. Probably just having sex outside. In a park. A couple years ago. The first guy I dated after my husband.

What would your ex-husband say if he saw this interview? 
He might be disappointed because of the park thing, but he might be happy to know he's the best sex I've ever had.

 

Agustus, 35

What do you do for a living? 
I work for a skateboard company.

Does that ever get you laid? 
Uh... yes. We use the expression "Bro Hos." They're women who like skateboarders.

Are you saying you have groupies? 
Yes. I guess they're equivalent to band groupies, sure.

Do they just stalk you outside the skate park and ride your tour bus? 
No. I'm in sales, so I go to all the skate shops around L.A., and I end up meeting all the girls at the shops.

Do you date one girl from every skate shop? 
No. I don't date those girls. I thought you said "get laid."

Ah, so you only fuck the girls from the skate shops. Where do you find girlfriend material then?  
I like fix-ups. I'd rather have my friends' wives pick out someone for me. They know me already. It usually works out pretty well. 

So, is there an unwritten skater-boy rule that says "Bro Hos" are for sex only? 
Kind of. But, actually, I don't just have sex with "Bro Hos." Some of the best sex I've had has been with random girls at bars. Just random ones.

Does that usually involve a lot of liquor? 
Yes. Liquor usually means the sex is great. The problem is the relationship is off from the beginning because it's just based on sex. If she fucks on the first date or the first time you meet her, she's probably not girlfriend material.

How long do you usually wait with people who are girlfriend material? 
Once I waited three months with this girl from Pakistan. She was Muslim and really traditional and very beautiful. She had style for days. She made me wait, and then we were together for seven years.

What happened with her? 
It just didn't work out. When you're with someone for seven years, you grow one way and she grows in the other direction. And then you're in totally different places. I am a high-school dropout and I got into skateboarding. She got her Ph.D.

But she reeled you in in the first place by not having sex with you. Would you say that every guy is just looking for a nice girl deep down? 
I don't know about every guy. All I know is that when I'm old and crippled, I don't want to be alone. I've seen people together who are first loves and they'll be together their whole lives. It's a beautiful thing. It's mainly what I want, but I'm going on three months right now without sex, so my standards are progressively dropping. I would go home with pretty much anyone right now.

Is that why you agreed to talk to me? 
Um... no.

What's the longest you've ever gone without sex? 
I've had a six-month drought before. Maybe a few of them.

What's your worst dating experience? 
I was just dating this nurse for two months, and she was really bitchy about the smallest things. We were walking down the sidewalk, and I spit in the street. She wouldn't shut up about it. An hour later, I finally said, "What's worse than me spitting in the street is you talking about me spitting in the street for an hour." I broke up with her and my friend's wife says she's still crying about me after three months. I feel horrible. But I couldn't take it.

Is that your dealbreaker? When women pick on the little things?
Yeah, I hate when girls want to be my teacher. If I'm on a date, I don't need someone to correct my grammar all the time or correct my manners. I fucking hate that shit. No nagging. Stop trying to change me, you know?

I wish you had worn a different hat.  
It's over.