Enrica, 31

You're a comic-book writer?
A comic-book writer with a brand new series, Azteca. One of the characters in the story is a very powerful, evil woman. I'm interested in taking a bad woman but making her sympathetic and showing how she got there.

Do you draw upon your personal experiences for that?
Not at all.

What have your personal dating experiences been like?
I think when you're young and having fun and experimenting you become aware of — I don't want to say it's a double-standard, but if I were a guy messing around with a bunch of different people, it would be a completely different situation. I was a girl who got some attention and was enjoying it, but I learned really quickly how that was perceived, how that was going to be taken by the other people around me.

What's your relationship status?
Married. I was teaching English in Korea, and my husband's in the army and was stationed there. We met in a bar.

And before that?
I went to school out in California. Berkeley.

What did you think of the dating scene there?
That's a good question. I was always dating older guys, not college students. Ten years older, or a little more. I was always dating someone long distance, so it's hard to say much about the dating scene.

Was there a certain type that you were drawn to?
When you're in that kind of setting, you're kind of pitting your brain against other people all the time. It's a wonderful opportunity to get intellectual, get into debates, kind of slam your brain against someone else's. So any time you could get into a really good conversation, a really heated argument over dinner, that was foreplay.

Have you ever been propositioned because, you know, you're a woman in the comics industry?
No. Officially, no. Being a woman, you're going to get some attention. What's interesting to me is the assumption that, because I'm a woman, I'm going to somehow do better. It's weird. They believe that because there's a sexual dynamic, I can use it — as if that's a superpower that I have. But, ultimately, I still need a boost. If you look at some of the featured comics-industry professionals, it's an entire page of men and their pictures. There are a bunch of women on the list, but the pictures are all guys. So there's still this imbalance, but somehow I have a supposed advantage because I'm a woman and I can be sexy.

Who's your favorite X-Man?
Favorite X-Man? Gambit. There's something very romantic about a Southern gentleman. 

 

John, 25

What do you do?
I'm a computer tech.

Does that get you a lot of dates?
It does when women think you're smart. It does help. Most women like smart guys. But I don't just go, "Hey, I'm in computer tech." If they ask, I tell them.

Is there a type that you go for?
Actually, no. I'm basically a geek. So I go for women who are interested in that.

What's your relationship status now?
Actually, it's kind of complicated because I was single and I met this girl, and we're trying to work things out.

What is it like? Is it an open relationship?
Something like that. I'd like it to be closed, but something like that.

I assume you've had long-term relationships in the past?
Yeah, I have. Some went well, others didn't go as planned. In the good relationships, they accepted me for who I am — just a big old nerdy geek. The ones who didn't working out were the ones who were trying to change me. I want someone who will be herself. Don't try to pretend. Be yourself and be honest, and all is well.

Do you have any dealbreakers?
Actually, I do. It's basically the three-strike rule. Piss me off three times, and you're gone. One thing I don't like is drama. Some conflicts I can deal with, but some make me think, "You know what? I need a bottle of Advil to carry with me..."

What kind of girls were you into in high school?
Oh, geez...Well, in high school, I was picked on so much that I didn't even have time to worry about it. I was worrying about, "Can I get from point A to point B without getting my butt kicked?"

So there was a lot of bullying?
Yeah, but then I learned how to fight back.

 

Rachel, 20

What do you do?
Hula-hoop! I make hula hoops and sell them, and I also do pinup for Steampunk Betties — steampunk, steamfunk, Victorian-era, pinup style.

Are you totally comfortable modeling as a pinup?
Yes, completely. I've always been pretty comfortable dressing in little or no clothes, as you can see. I think the female body isn't meant to be clothed.

What's your relationship status right now?
Single, and I'm happy with that. I don't really feel the need for relationships because I'm young, and I want to taste the colors of the rainbow, so to speak. I love to travel. I just got back from Costa Rica, I've been to Africa, I'm going to Israel. If I put a man into the mix, he'd have to definitely be down for my lifestyle and not be jealous. Just a lover and a friend.

Has what you do ever interfered with someone you were dating?
No. Actually, the guy I'm involved with right now met me because of the hula-hooping. He found it so attractive, and he started talking to me. He loves when I go out and I hula-hoop. He likes it when guys hit on me — because then they get to buy my drinks, not him! [laughs]

So he doesn't get jealous at all?
No. Well, at least he doesn't show it. He might get a little jealous, but he goes and does his own thing, too. And I tell him, "If you can get a girl to buy you a drink, go for it!"

What's he like? Is he also a performer?
No, he's actually a crazy hairstylist. He does my hair for me. He does hair and makeup better than I do! I tell him, "Hey, I'm going out. I'm going to Comic Con. Do my hair." He's just down to earth and has a lot of the same theories and beliefs and values that I do. And he feels the same about relationships.

I feel like a lot of people in the U.S. are pretty conservative with their relationships. It's all about exclusivity...
...commitment, yeah. When I was super-young, I was in a relationship. I was, like, a kid; I was twelve when I started dating someone, and I dated him for five years. At that age, you waste a lot of your exploration time. And now I'm just ready to explore. I don't believe that there's one soul mate for everyone. I believe that you can have lots and lots of soul mates. It's finding them, and finding people who you can love and will love you back. Why do we need to put conditions on love?

So that relationship that you had when you were twelve — was it a real relationship? A sexual relationship?
Yeah, from twelve to seventeen. I guess I have no regrets; everything is a lesson. But it was definitely a hard lesson.

Was he your age?
No, he was, I think, two years older than me.

Was that weird? Because when you're a kid, it's such a huge difference.
No, it wasn't that weird. I've never really gotten along with guys my age. Now, the guys who I see are in their mid- to late-twenties, so they all have a significant age gap on me. I started growing up when I was really young; I moved out when I was sixteen, so I've always been attracted to people I could relate to more.

Is there a type that you gravitate towards?
My type is trouble!

Want to talk to strangers in your town? Email .