Haley, 26

So what do you do?
I'm a vascular ultrasound technologist. It's the same thing as ultra-sound but no babies.

That must get you laid.
Well, I'm married with kids. Just putting that out there as soon as possible.

So you don't get laid?
I didn't say that.

How'd you meet this lucky man?
Well, we met in school...

In vascular school?
Yeah, vascular school. You know, went to a party, got entangled...

Entangled?
We were talking about getting married within two weeks of dating. We had a very quick romance.

Apparently. And then you got married?
Well, I got pregnant, and then we got married.

Woops.
No, but it was great. I mean, something can be true and still happen quickly.

Any advice for a young gal looking to wed?
Get knocked up? [laughs] Actually, just remember that no one's perfect together. It's all about that initial chemistry, attraction... vibing together, for lack for a better word.

 

Heather, 27

You're a nanny! Please tell me you're involved in an affair.
You'd think I would be, but I'm not. I did hook up with this guy once who told me, "This is a fantasy of mine."

What do you look for in a guy?
Humor, compassion.

You like nice guys?
Yeah, definitely. It's hot.

What's the nicest thing a guy's ever done for you?
I texted this guy I was into a picture of me and the kids I watch, and instead of responding with some typical guy thing and being like, "That's so lame, stop wasting my messages," this guy was like, "That's adorable." It was out of character for a guy, and pretty sexy.

So are you seeing someone now?
Nope, I'm single. Good, clean, single. But I'm trying to find somebody.

You want to be in a relationship again?
Yeah, I like being in relationships. It's like having your best friend with benefits. And not just a friend. Your best friend.

What do you do to let a guy know you're into him?
I start some arbitrary conversation about the first thing I see, some stupid thing that they'll respond to if they're interested. It doesn't take much.

Tell me about the hottest sex you've ever had.
I had sex on my dad's desk after hours and my ass kept slamming up against the fax machine. You know, it was naughty and fun. The sex was great, very wild and uninhibited.

 

Mickey, 25

So you're named after a mouse.
Yeah, I'm named after that goddamned mouse. Just don't sing the song.

Is that a sex repellent?
No, not a sex repellent. It helps that I work in human resources, so I meet a lot of people. Except, not so much recently, since they moved me to this office that's isolated from everyone else. It's like being quarantined.

So you haven't been getting laid that often?
Well, I haven't been meeting people, but I fuck my friends.

Tell me the best story you have about fucking a friend.
Well, I was with this girl, and we didn't have any protection.

Fail.
Yeah, so I decided to drive to Wal-Mart in the middle of super-conservative Pennsylvania after going to a gas station that had exactly one condom. And I'm hammered, and with this girl. Anyway, we walk into Wal-Mart and get a box of condoms, and the checkout woman was less than pleased. You could feel her staring through us. Which was absolutely worth almost getting a DUI.

So what do you look for in a girl?
Well, if I don't like her face, it's not gonna happen. And she has to have some ability to have a conversation. I mean, at least the bare minimum. You have to at least be able to talk about the weather.

Tell me about your wildest fantasy.
Well, I really want to fuck a girl on an altar.

Shit!
Yeah, I was raised Catholic, and there's something really hot about defiling an altar.

Interviews and photography by Alex Rudinski.