Michelle, 23

What do you do?
I'm a hairstylist.

Is it possible to meet straight guys that way?
Yes. We get a lot of students from San Jose State that come in, so, yeah, most of my clientele is men. There are some cute ones. I'm not sure if they're ones that I'm interested in. There have been a few, but...

What's your relationship status?
Right now, I'm single. I've met a few guys. I recently just got out of a long-term relationship. It was four years' worth of bullshit. I mean, I loved him, but he just didn't really contribute a lot to the relationship, so it was kind of one-sided. So I stepped out of it to do my own thing.

What was your ex trying to do with his life?
He was going to culinary school, and then he stopped going because he got a job. He doesn't really make that much money, and never really went back to school. I was just kind of over it.

So you broke it off?
Yes. I think he was sad, but it was mutual because we had a lot of past baggage. We were both on the same level — we both knew that it was coming to an end. I was just the one to kind of let go of it.

Do you have a type?
I guess, yeah. I stay away from "bros" and frat guys and stuff like that. More like skaters and rockers, I guess. I meet them through friends. Most of my friends are guys. I don't really hang out with girls, honestly. I don't really like girls too much.

Do you think it's easy to meet guys in San Jose? What do you think of the guys here?
They're all boys! [laughs] There aren't a lot of men in San Jose, that's for sure. I've met a lot of guys, but they've just kind of been... whatever. They don't really know how to handle girls here, I think. I've just been trying to stay away from guys right now. I guess a lot of guys in San Jose don't really know what they're doing with their lives, and if they do, most of 'em — a lot of them have big egos. I'm not really too into that.

Any dealbreakers?
Yeah: no kids. I'm not really that much of a kid person. They should have a good job — they don't have to have all their shit together, but at least if they're on a track somewhere trying to get to where they want to be, then that's good. I'm working on my career right now; I want someone who's on the same level as me.

Daniel, 24

What do you do?

I'm a freelance musician — I play the trombone.

Does that get you a lot of dates?
No. It seems that that stereotype of people to be able to get dates off of music is much more related to guitar and voice. Girls seem to be attracted by that idea of musicians, but I still have to work really hard to find anybody who's willing to go out.

How do you typically find girls to go out with?
I wait. [laughs] I wait, and I talk to a lot of people. Downtown San Jose is notorious for not having many girls. It doesn't work to the boys' advantage. We often call it "Man Jose." Within the last couple of years, it's gotten better, but there's still overwhelmingly more boys.

Can you explain the kinds of girls you meet here?
The girls I hang out with are the type that make people throw the word "hipster" around. San Jose is such a large city that there are whole slews of other cultures, but that's the one that I'm most in.

Any dealbreakers?
A coke habit is a dealbreaker. I've walked down that road. Being able to do that occasionally was more important to her than me being uncomfortable. I'm a sucker for respect, so if I'm not being respected or not being taken care of, it's not worth it.

Demographics aside, have you had any experiences with San Jose girls?
Yes, I've had a few. I always go for artist types. I'm a sucker for a musician. The last two girls I dated have been musicians — I dated a guitarist. And a writer. The girl before that was a pianist. I dated a vocalist. In my youth, I dated a saxophonist/pianist.

"In your youth?" When was that exactly?
That was back in high school. I dated a few visual artists, a poet, two pianists.

Are you looking for that in the long-term? A kindred spirit?
Yeah. My life, my passion, my love, is music. I play trombone, I play piano, I play guitar, I sing. My life is music. So if I'm dating somebody who doesn't understand art, it's pointless. And if I'm dating somebody who doesn't understand music, then a good portion of my brain is off-topic. I think in terms of music. I'm a jazz musician. I live and breathe scales. So if I can't talk about that stuff with my significant other, then it's tedious. I've read some interesting studies about the ancient Greeks arguing that, in Athens, the reason there was so much homosexuality was not that the men were more attracted to men. It was just that the women were uneducated. So the women actually couldn't hold good conversations with the men. The men were attracted to other men on a deeper level, so they would end up making out.

That's a very "Man Jose" kind of observation.
Yeah, I guess it is.

Jessamin, 19

What do you do?
I go to school. I'm studying child development.

What's your relationship status?
I'm in a relationship. It's been going on for about nine months now. We've known each other since elementary school. We were really good friends. In middle school, we got to know each other more, but he was really mean to me; he'd call me names. We started talking more on Facebook. And then on Valentine's Day — we called it Anti-Valentine's Day. We just biked around, 'cause we both bike, and we went toLa Vic. And after that, we had a connection. We went to San Francisco with his friends. A few months later, he asked me out.

Had you had any dating experience before that?
Yeah, I did. I was in a three-year relationship, but I didn't see any future at all. It was one of my actual first relationships. And I thought, "I'm gonna spend the rest of my life" — I was in high school! That was my mindset. You say you're in love, but you're just being a child. It was nothing.

Any amazing, awesome dates you've been on?
Yeah! My boyfriend got me front row tickets to see Incubus. That was pretty awesome because I love Incubus. I've never had someone actually take me to a concert, so that was my first time. It was awesome.

What do you think of the guys in San Jose?
There aren't that many great guys out there. It's hard to find someone. And it's crazy that I just found someone I've known since elementary school, and we had such a great connection. A lot of people are like, "Oh, it's all about going out, having fun." I don't hear anyone saying, "I just want to settle down and find someone." It's just, like, partying and doing it all over again for them. I think it depends on how you were raised. My mom always told me, "Don't be one of those hoochie girls!"

She said "hoochie"? How old is your mom?
She's thirty-three.

Do you see long-term potential in this guy?
Yeah, I do. I really do. I mean, we're both weird; we're both dorks. We don't have serious moments; we can be best friends, and I think that's one of the most important things.

What attracted you to him?
His personality. He tried to act all cool. I was like, "I know you. Don't try to act all bad, 'cause you're not." So he showed his true self, like, "I'm weird; I'm a dork." And I was like, "Yeah, me too!"

How is he weird?
The things he does. Singing, mostly. We'll hear a song, and we'll sing to each other — not caring who sees us. And people are looking at us, but who cares?