Talking to Strangers: Washington, D.C.

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we've just met.

Diana, 29

So you're a programmer. Is that a good way to meet people?
No. I meet people through riding bicycles.  

I've been warned about dating bike-messenger types.
That is definitely a type, and some of those people are amazing, but some of them are a little too extreme for their own good.  

Any disastrous dates since you've been in D.C.?
D.C. on the whole is very insular. It's kind of clique-y, but it has a different social protocol than other towns. In other towns, you almost play an "I don't know you" game for a while where you meet people randomly socially a few times before you actually hang out, and then when you finally trade phone numbers and hang out, it means that you're going to be friends. Whereas in D.C., you're wasted and you meet each other and in five minutes you're trading numbers. Not even for dating necessarily, just for being friends. But if you call them a week later, they'll be like, "Who is this?"  

Have any men or women impressed you here?
In D.C., the first thing you get asked is what you do for a living. Everyone wants to network and find out what Senator's office you work in. I'm a computer programmer, so I don't really fit in and I'm almost a pariah at parties. I've been at parties where women who work in the mail room are like, "Oh, she's not in our industry, she doesn't work on the Hill. She's not relevant." Sometimes I lie and say I do interpretative dance.  

So what are you doing for dates?
I imported my boyfriend from Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh, I was used to walking into a bar and saying "I'm kind of thirsty, I think I'd like a beer," and having lots of dudes say "let me get you one!" My first weekend in D.C. I strolled into the Black Cat and picked out a friendly looking dude and said, "I just moved here, can you recommend some other places to go?" And he's like, "Uh, my friends are over there, I gotta go." I realized women don't approach men here and you're supposed to wait for some schlubby guy who's six years older than you, balding, but works at Brookings. And you're supposed to get really pumped that he's talking to you. They expect every woman under the age of thirty to be a mom-and-dad funded Hill intern, and when you're a woman who's made your own way in a male-dominated industry, they don't know how to deal. They're looking for young girls who don't have a lot of opinions.

Aussie, 23

Are you a native Washingtonian?
Yes, I've lived here all my life. 

Have you met any special guys? 
I'm attracted to any type of race, ethnicity, it doesn't matter. My preference is a nerd who has street smarts. Not someone who would be too scared to protect me, but also not someone who's hardcore and doesn't know how to respect me.

Where do you meet your nerds?
I used to be a college student and that's where most of my dates come through. I don't date people at the club. I don't like that. I feel like everyone at the club is stunting. I don't want to go for guys popping bottles when that's really their rent money. Now I meet my guys at social gatherings. 

Are you friends with all your exes?
I am. Even the ones I never thought I'd speak to again. I can call up anyone I've ever dated in the past.  

So have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes, I have. Only once, although there have been other situations when I had really high hopes in the relationship and I was let down. I had my heart broken in 2008. I was with a guy for two years and he got back with his ex-girlfriend.

But you're still friendly with him?
Yeah, I saw him last year and we said hey. I'm over that hump where I was like, "I hate you and my life is over!" No one's life is really over after you get your heart broken. If someone comes along who really treats you well, your heart will mend.  

Are you a heart breaker? 
Well, I am picky. I have had some guys say "I wanted you, but you didn't want me." I'm not into settling. I'm not going to settle for someone just because they have an interest in me.  

Do you have a dream date in mind?
A dream date might be a dream wedding! I think someone picking me up and taking me somewhere I never expected. I'm a very simple girl. Maybe front-row tickets at a ballet or... something that shows he thought really hard about it.