British dressmaker divides all women's butts into four shapes, by fruit
By Virginia SmithNovember 10th, 2010, 11:00 amComments (14)
British dress company Wonderbum has devised yet another way for women to categorize themselves. Based on butt shape. And produce. According to the undoubtedly extensive research of “bottom expert” (and likely part-time boob inspector) Dr. David Holmes, the asses of 21st century women can be categorized into one of four possible shapes: “pear,” “tomato,” “potato,” or perhaps the weirdest, “nectarine.”
And just in case you were trying to read something a little too healthy or positive into Holmes’ research or Wonderbum’s flattering-clothes-for-all mission, the Manchester Metropolitan University psychologist is more than happy to clarify:
“In the 21st century the derriere shape has improved for some with modern exercise regimes and diets,” he says. “For most, however, the effect of plentiful attractive food has taken its toll and the cartoon perfection of spherical derrieres has given way to softer, rounded tomato derrieres, the wider, flatter pancake shapes and the less defined potato rears.”
Shit. In any case, this might just mean that women’s magazines everywhere will have to redesign their ever-enlightening “Dress for your Body Shape!” charts to make room for the likes of the nectarine and the potato. Or, at the very least, that a drawn-out, ugly legal battle with Apple Bottoms is on the horizon.
Commentarium (14 Comments)
Potato is not a fruit, it's a tuber or root vegetable.
Little Red Riding Hood up there on the right is fine by me.
@AB - Touche. I tried "divides all women's butts into categories, by fruit, tuber and/or root vegetable." But it seemed to be missing a certain... something.
Leave my bottom out of it!
What would J.Lo be, The Pumpkin?
my bum looks nothing like these
O great. Instead of looking at women as pieces of meat, now we're looking at them as vegetables or fruits. This is Progress?
Funny, I don't see a problem with any of the samples provided. Oh, I get it. These must be post-ass-enhancement ladies....
The fact that there is someone, somewhere in the world getting paid to study the shape of ladies' bottoms gives me hope for humanity.
Ha! Ha! Talk abt bums on seats!
Can't really tell differences as well with dresses on.
also, @Matt, lol.
I believe in certain parts of the interwebs, that "tomato" girl would be said to have a "bubble butt", albeit a smallish one.
Dr. Holmes says your fat, but I ain't down with that, I prefer the Tomato butt, give Ms. Nectarine a sandwich.
lol..https://Quiescentmind.com
Now you say something