Rosario Dawson grabs Paul Rudd's crotch; Paul Rudd grabs Eva Mendes' breast

So you're tired of hearing about James Franco's Oscar performance and/or Charlie Sheen's life performance? You're in luck — turns out that buried within the weekend's action was this year's Independent Spirit Awards, during which Rosario Dawson grabbed Paul Rudd's crotch with free-spirited abandon.

Here's what Rudd's face looked like during the impromptu molestation:

Don't worry, though — Rudd got him some too. And by "some," I mean "Eva Mendes' right breast."

UPDATE: And now there's video!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is probably all you'll ever know about the 2011 Independent Spirit Awards.