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Get those ballots ready. Mitt Romney surprises no one by announcing he will run for president in 2012. In the grand GOP tradition, he begins his campaign by calling Barack Obama "a failure." 

Personally, I avoid books and documentaries like Food, Inc like the plague — because the thought of being too grossed out or morally unhinged to eat my precious burgers is depressing. This author thought so too, until she took a thirty-day challenge and went from hating vegans to being one.

I recently learned that one of the editors at Hooksexup was valedictorian in high school (nerd!). Sadly, no footage of his surely moving speech can be found. But I'm sure it would have been better if he'd used this handy How-To Guide to create the perfect valedictorian speech.

Jon Stewart is having a lot of fun this week, and we like watching Jon Stewart have fun. He had a great moment ripping on Donald Trump's pizza-eating technique last night, and now Donald Trump has responded via video. As usual, Trump ruins everything he touches.

Commentarium (8 Comments)

Jun 02 11 - 11:02pm
Vocal

"Mitt's a Fit"

"Mitt's Got Mine!"

"Romney On A Roll"

take em, i know you'll all steal em someday soon, anyway.

Jun 03 11 - 10:16am
faulknersaysrelax

"Mitt-igating Circumstances!"

"Rom n'Roll!"

"Romnoceros vs. Barackopotamus!"

Take them, this shit just comes to me.

Jun 05 11 - 1:40am
eva

I'm pretty much in love with you now.

Jun 03 11 - 10:57am
handicapper

Assuming unemployment doesn't get better fast, Romney will be our next Pres.

You heard it here first.

Jun 03 11 - 11:37am
sog

Whether or not you like or support Romney, I hope that the campaign will come down to a discussion of real issues and not his religious beliefs.

Jun 10 11 - 1:58am
Publius

Not likely to happen.

Jun 03 11 - 5:57pm
MRAGH

i agree... but when's the last time a politician actually gave a crap about real issues?

Jun 11 11 - 12:54am
Buck

I'm out of league here. Too much brain power on dipslay!

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