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Thailand is as famous for its transsexuals as for its Buddhism and postcard beaches. So perhaps I was naïve for not realizing the woman who'd just blown me on a cliff in Ko Pha Ngan was, in fact, a man. But a straight guy likes to think he has sharp trannydar, and in seconds I had gone from innocently getting sucked off by a hot Thai girl to deciding if I should fuck a Thai boy's ass. You'll understand if I went from disbelief to shock to embarrassment to curiosity faster than you can say "beer goggles."

Equally bewildering was the speed with which the entire episode occurred. Only minutes earlier I had been on Haad Rin Beach, old-fashionedly trying to fuck women with actual vaginas. I was at the Full Moon Party, the famed all-night beach rave that attracts 20,000 to 30,000 western tourists every time the Moon is precisely in opposition to the Sun.

The Party begins at about five p.m. and continues until sunrise. Bars stay open the whole night, thudding and thumping with whatever dance music was trendy in Europe five years prior. Dozens of vendors sell "buckets," pails of improperly-mixed alcohol laced with anything that knocks drinkers out, for ten bucks or less. Rumors abound in Ko Pha Ngan of tourists overdosing on buckets, but of course that only entices partygoers even more. And the prostitutes come even cheaper than the booze and drugs.
You'll understand if I went from disbelief to shock to embarrassment to curiosity faster than you can say "beer goggles."
Thai hookers flock to the Full Moon Party, knowing that desperate men who don't score with western women will settle for paying twenty to thirty dollars to fuck hookers instead. By midnight, literally hundreds of prostitutes line the shore, propositioning the guys who temporarily leave the bars to take a piss in the ocean. It's not pretty, but it's a monthly ritual.

It was my first week into a two-month-long solo backpacking excursion around Southeast Asia, that upper-middle-class ritual that traditionally follows grad school. I was sharing a place in Ko Pha Ngan for five days with Uri, an Israeli guy I'd met on the ferry from the mainland. We were hanging out with two New York girls we'd met the day before. By the time the Party commenced, Uri was falling for one of them. Travel inspires such excitement and novelty and intensity, it's easy to pretend those feelings signal a genuine connection with someone. I had flirted with an Israeli girl a few nights earlier, but blown it by opting to see a Mauy Thai match instead of taking her to dinner. As Uri and our friends drank and danced amid the pressure of the music and dancing, I was feeling lonely in my usual way, lonely in the travelling-alone way, and lonely in the my-friend-has-a-girl-but-I-don't way. It was a combination every bit as toxic as the chemicals in our buckets.

We drifted from bar to bar on the beach, and I slowly distanced myself from my friends. I would dance with them, pretending I wasn't lonely or eyeing every girl. As the night progressed and the alcohol seeped into my bloodstream, I began dancing with any willing woman. Most — okay, all — showed zero interest, until I caught an Asian girl glancing at me repeatedly. Now, I'm average-looking at best, no matter how much booze a girl has had, so I knew her glances were ocular invitations. I stumbled toward her and we began dancing, eventually grinding our bodies together like sticks trying to catch fire. I put my arm around her slender waist, pulling her towards me as I smelled her neck and black hair. I was worried that she was a hooker; I'd been in Thailand only a week but had already encountered dozens of them. Prostitutes in Thailand are proactive and have a Madison Avenue-worthy sales pitch — they engage you in conversation for twenty minutes before casually mentioning how they're looking for some way to make extra cash.

           
 

17 Comments

This was a frank and unusual piece, but I'm a little surprised that you went that far into your backpacking trip without considering the cultural differences- such as ladyboys being far more common and accepted. Of course he wasn't going to be ashamed when you discovered his membership card to the boys' club.

hcl commented on 09/03

punter

ura commented on 09/03

WOW! Worst writing ever! It's like the kind of essay you'd hand in for school or something. Pretty damn awful.

fcm commented on 09/03

Bah. You should have 'fucked her in ass.'

JL commented on 09/03

Not original or well written.

LMS commented on 09/03

I liked it - I smiled and grimaced during certain sections and thought the writing was clever.

JS commented on 09/03

Yeah, I don't know what's up with all the criticism on this site. I liked it.

LB commented on 09/03

Who edited this? Muay Thai is the martial art, not Maui Thai- that sounds like a take-out joint in Lahaina

CLR commented on 09/03

One thing I learned in Thailand... any Thai woman with a rack is most likely a ladyboy.

STH commented on 09/03

I don't understand the nitpicking about the writing either. Are you looking for D.H. Lawrence? Not a story I would ever have written under my own name and photo, but it sheds some light on what is probably a very common experience for solo men in Thailand.

VRM commented on 09/03

Yes, very surprised to see all the literary critics. May or may not be the most sophisticating writing I've ever seen, but certainly better than I could do. Regardless, I found it brave, honest and sincere.

MEH commented on 09/03

I really liked this. I have been to Thailand, and heard about the 'ladyboys' while I was there. As a woman, it was interesting to hear about a part of Thailand that went right over my head.

LEP commented on 09/03

Wow, apparently the writer isn't concerned about HIV AT ALL.

JCB commented on 09/04

awesome piece, and excellently written. definitely merits a "thank you for sharing." also highly relatable for those of us who have been there.......

DE commented on 09/04

what a thoughtful story. i've traveled on my own a lot, and though i've never been to thailand, i can really relate to the sense of loneliness and longing you sometimes experience. especially if everyone around you is partying/with someone. very honest!

LT commented on 09/04

Yeah, critics.... go easy will ya? I liked it as a good short piece emphasizing the feelings of the scene, not the logistics. I liked the "heads up" to the untraveled that traveling alone is often a lonely experience.

EW commented on 09/04

Very frank and introspective. Interesting read, for sure.

FR commented on 09/04
 

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