Is there a reason you don't use the label "bisexual"? Yes, the girls who make out with each other IN ORDER to titillate guys have given the term unpleasant associations, but...?

Interesting insight. Terrible grammar. Does Hooksexup still employ editors?

Yeah, what's with the grammar?

The last two comments just make me think about Sloan-Underwhelmed, lol. that said, this definitley feels like a snippet from a bigger storybook

I had a very similar experience in my mid-twenties. Except, I made the decision to start identifying as bisexual, and I went back to dating women exlusively because I did not like the newfound "normal" feeling at all. The way my relationships fit in to society at large was a huge deal. I came out when I was fourteen, and all of the work I did for queer rights really mattered to me. I didn't mind being misinterpreted as a full-fledged dyke when I was with a woman, but I hated being misinterpreted as straight when I was with a man.

Nice piece. s.m. and WW, if you think the grammar was terrible in this story, you should go teach in public education -- secondary or collegiate. Put that snarkiness to some use, for it only makes you look jealous and thoughtless in this venue.

Interesting piece, and I did enjoy it. So thank you. But I do take issue with one line in particular... "She discovered she liked power, control and inflicting pain — so much so that years later she became a he." Enjoying inflicting pain is not a requirement for being a man, or a disqualifier for being a women. There are doms and sub, sadists and masochists of both sexes. Your prejudices may be showing a little here.

Yes, PG: "She discovered she liked power, control and inflicting pain — so much so that years later she became a he." What the fuck is that about?

Won't it be great when we learn to stop assuming anything about eachother's sexuality just because of who they are with?

Thanks, PG, for bringing up a good point. I appreciate it. It should be stated that not all FTMs have switched because of BDSM tendencies. I was being casual on a topic that is very complex. However, in my ex's case, she did want to become a man for the power and control. The more we explored feminism together, the more she didn't want to fight against white, male, corporate oppression - she wanted to become it.

Thanks, PG, for bringing up a good point. I appreciate it. It should be stated that not all FTMs have switched because of BDSM tendencies. I was being casual on a topic that is very complex. However, in my ex's case, she did want to become a man for the power and control. The more we explored feminism together, the more she didn't want to fight against white, male, corporate oppression - she wanted to become it.

I am a professional editor and writer, and the grammar didn't bother me in this. It's first-person, colloquial, and friendly. I feel that a good editor allows the author's voice to shine rather than imposing strict Chicago Manual style. Was just listening to a delightful, towering rant from Stephen Fry about this point . . .losing the forest for the grammatical tress and all that.

I appreciated the honesty more than anything. Bravo, MM.

Cool read. Thank you for sharing!

Nice, insightful work. I like how she explored the tendency of onlookers to form quick judgements depending on who she was with.

I agree with mpb. It's a much more interesting read when a bit of the author's personality is revealed through the writing. Excellent piece - I'd love to see more.

That's the funny thing about the label bisexual, we are still so diverse even inside that, some of us lean towards boys and others towards girls. It really is more of a spectrum than categories

More of this girl! Great story.

haha - CC is right. anyone who follows mia's work knows she is far from straight, but its an amusing title. and being a follower of mia's, it's indeed very cool to discover more background behind her sexuality and get her stories in a new format. brava, MM! always looking foward to more of your work!

I enjoyed reading this. I am openly bisexual and I can totally relate to much of what she's written here. Although, I don't have a hard time switching back and forth - I like men and women equally - but the people in my life sometimes have a tough time with it. It can be frustrating when your friends think you should 'just choose one or the other already.' I like that I don't have to limit myself. I like people.

I know it's stupid but I still tend to think 'bisexual' refers to somebody who's horny enough to go either way, all the time. And what's wrong with that? By now it should be as much of a snooze as voting 'independent'. And I'm unapologetically straight.

As a woman who finds herself sexually attracted to men and women, though I do lend towards men for the power plays, I loved this article. I think sexuality, when done right, doesn't neatly conform. I find myself deeply desiring to kiss some women, feel their sex, and make power with them, but I also find my body responding to men. I'm not ashamed of it. I love how once we decide to be unconventional, it becomes a restraint in itself, a new box of which we feel trapped. I refuse to be trapped.

FC's comments highlight the exact sterotype that make people like myself uncomfortable with using the label "bisexual." People immediately equate it was "slut." It's possible to be attracted to people regardless of gender but still keep it in your pants. I'd rather live in a label free society that recognizes the fluidity of sexuality and attraction, but most people, gay and straight, aren't comfortable with me unless I can check a box.