Talking to Strangers
Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

Jess, 24

What do you do for a living?
I'm an actuary.

Does that ever get you dates?
Sadly, no.

How do you get dates?
I'll go with "personality."

Do you have any good hook-up stories?
Oh god. I don't know if this is really good, but one time I was walking out of a bar — it was my roommate's birthday — and I saw this guy and just said, "Hey want to come home with me?" So I took him home but we didn't do anything. It was really random. I woke up next to him and was like, "Who are you?" And then he pushed my head down, like "give me head." And I was like, "Oh hell no. You can leave. You can let yourself out whenever you want."

Hell no. Immediate dealbreaker. On the opposite end of the spectrum, what kind of guys do you like?
I sort of like metrosexual guys. Not really a metrosexual but smart. They have to be smart, career-oriented, and have good goals.

Do you have any crazy ex-boyfriends?
Yes, I have an ex-boyfriend from college who dated some girl for a year and a half and still likes me. He tells me he likes me all the time, but then he dates other people. He called me last weekend. I talk to him because I try to be friends, but then he says he wants to be with me, why don't I date him, blah blah blah.

Has anyone offended you in the bedroom?
Yeah, that guy who pushed my head down. I hate that shit. It's like, if you asked nicely — maybe. But now, absolutely not.

Elvis, 29

What do you do for a living?
I'm a messenger/dogwalker/handyman/doorman/lover.

What do you look for in a girl?
I was gonna say brains, but I love jugs. I love tits. I can also appreciate a really nice ass. But I also know not every woman is blessed with ass, or blessed with tits, so I will pretty much take anything, as long as you're a real woman. If you happen to have big tits and no ass, I'll love you. If you have a big ass and no tits, I'll love you. I don't care, as long as you're a woman, and sexy, and dead-on, and attracted to me.

What's the worst sex you've ever had?
It was some girl that liked me. We hung out, we went on a date, she was down to come back to the pad and everything. So we go back to the pad and it happens. She's a really nice girl, a simple girl, but she just didn't turn me on, you know? I just shriveled up in the middle of banging. I didn't want to do it anymore. It makes me look bad because I didn't take care of my business, but it had everything to do with, "I don't like you." So if I don't like you, Stanley doesn't like you.

Did you really name your dick Stanley? And what did you say to this girl?
Well, I didn't name it Stanley; I named it Harold. I used this whole excuse that I already came, because I started off stiff and woodish, you know? I started off rock-hard and she was just like "eh eh eh" and that doesn't turn me on. I was trying to imagine other women who I've had sex with, and pornos, and my favorite porn star. I wanted to have a good, satisfying climax and it just didn't happen. I faded away and I told her, "Sorry honey, you got to go."

If you like a lady, how do you let her know that you like her? Besides wanting to bang her.
I'd take the girl roller skating or ice skating. I'm a big disco head, a big eighties guy. I get down with culture, with flavor, with heart and desire. Passion. You know, not ever being afraid, going for yours, throwing on some Duran Duran, some Depeche Mode, some David Bowie, whatever. I'm fucking down, man. And then later on, I'll eat that box.

That was beautiful.
No, if I really like a girl, I try hard to be a gentleman. Even when I don't like a girl, I still behave like a gentleman. I do everything in what I like to call "old-school sex."

What's old-school sex?
Old-school sex is like — say I go out tonight, I'm not just going to throw it out there or lick my lips like, "Yo, wassup girl?" Or be aggressive or grab your arm and say, "Dance with me, dance with me. Why you playing like that?" No, I'm going to smile and ask if I can buy you a drink, saying it nice and smooth and soft and looking really dapper, looking fresh, looking like I am the one you want to talk to. I make the effort to, more or less, be the guy you want to be with. And then I always let you know how great you are, and how great I am, and how great we would be together.

Ashley, 25

Do you have any good hook-up stories?
I lost my virginity the first weekend of college. I'm a swimmer, so we had our swim-team meeting the first day of freshman move-in. I met the boy there and we were hanging out all week. My mom had given me a little lecture before I went to school; she was like, "Don't lose your virginity the first week. Boys will back you into a corner, blah blah." So the first week I did it. Oops. He had a girlfriend, too. And then he told me we could never do it again.

What?!
But he told me he appreciated that I trusted him enough to do it. So then we had a six-year, on-and-off relationship. But we don't really talk that much right now.

I can't get over this. So you're hanging out with this guy, you're a virgin, and then you're like, "All right, let's fuck."
Well he was like, "Do you want to get a condom?" And I was like, "Okay." We were just hooking up one night. We were drunk. 

And you guys dated on-and-off for six years. That's a long time. Why did it end?
He stopped talking to me for a couple of months, and I'd just had enough of all the bullshit. I just couldn't do it anymore, and I was like, "Don't talk to me until I talk to you."

Were you dating other guys while you were seeing him?
There is another guy I've been hooking up with for twelve years, at the same time. He was my neighbor. We met when we were thirteen at a block party.

When was the first time you hooked up?
April, my freshmen yeah of high school. We weren't having sex when we were thirteen, or anything. But we still hook up today.

What do you look for in a guy?
I usually go for the assholes. I'm a swimmer, so I like to stick to swimmers. Someone who is funny and has a dirty sense of humor. They have to be able to put up with my sense of humor.

Are you from around here?
I'm from New Jersey.

Is dating different in the city?
I don't think you can really trust the people you meet in the city. You don't know where they have been. And ever since I've seen RENT I'm kind of scared of people's pasts. At school it was easier because you knew everybody and in the city you don't. 

How can a guy impress you?
Make me laugh, flirt a lot, and then make out with me.