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Joanna, you are too cute.

I went to a nude beach for the first time less then a month ago with my (then) girlfriend. We went to haulover beach in miami beach, florida. We spent a good portion of a friday and a sunday on the beach even though it was 10 miles from our hotel. It was really an eye opening experience which I'm glad I had so young (21 years old) as it gave me a much better view of what people really look like in real life. You don't just see the cream of the crop of body shapes... you see them all. If anyone is self-conscious about their body, I highly recomend that they go to a nude beach and see a better representation of the human body looks like. One not as skewed as mass media's representation. We did learn some important lessons though. The best time to go is on the weekends because there will be more families. Be weary of the beach when the life gaurds are off duty (from personal experience). Though I have to admit I was "checking" everybody else out.. I did my best to be respectful and not stare. The key is to concentrate on how amazing it feels to be naked on a warm beach, not on those around you. I never want to wear cloths at a beach again!

For Stoddard's next grant, he ought to get Hooksexup to spring for a ticket to a nude beach in some other country (or countries) so he can repeat the same test he did at Sandy Hook. Americans are such perverts, it's no surprise that he ran into a bunch of leering jerkoffs and guys with bizzare fashion sense.

Grant, you are terrific. This was a very well written, funny and true to my own experiences right on target hit-the-mark account of the nude beach. Sadly, I had to move out of NYC after 15 years to South Jersey, which has no nude beaches. When I lived up there, I didn't go to Gunnison ever, I went to Robert Moses State Park, then strolled East out of that park to the area right in front of the Fire Island lighthouse, an "officially un-official" nude beach for years. My female cousins showed it to me and often I went with them, or girlfriends. There the crowd was a lot of college girls from the Long Island suburbs, a lot of familes with kids and dogs, and as I always camped next to the vollyball net (they dressed at least partially to play, abrasion being what it is) I saw the same folks every time I went and many there were Nassau County cops and their wives and kids, believe it or not. There was also a protective vibe in the air, when some leering twerp would plunk down, not nude of course, next to a blanketfull of girls, people from the surrounding blankets would come over and talk to them and just about kick sand in the guy's face until he was so uncomfortable he'd leave. I saw it all the time, and helped out myself, too. Your descriptions of your feelings both on the beach and in the water are accurate, swimming nude is the best, being in the ocean is the return to the womb and you never forget what that feels like. Excellent job altogether, I really miss that beach right now !

Very interesting take on your trip to the nude beach. By the way your lady friend is gorgeous. Hope you can make it wuth her if that is what you both choose. I want to go to Haulover Beach in Miami Beach early next year with a lady friend who has done it before. She is out of town and coming here in Feb 2002. Thanks for the "pointers". Wish me luck

It is positively vicious of Grant to have placed that wretched black band-aid over his bits and pieces.

Hey....great article.....but it is even worse on the weekend..You were missing all the fishing boats off the beach "pretending" they are fishing. Joanna...you can lay on my beach anytime!

As usual, Grant, you are up to your same level of brilliance. Great, great piece. Week in and week out, you are consistantly the best thing on Hooksexup. Keep up the good work. Joanna... Thank you for showing what your mama gave ya. God bless you.

I loved this piece. It was a really interesting "experiment" and I loved how it was written structurally, putting the story into an experiment/lab report write up. After reading, I made a commitment to myself to get naked more often and let my flesh be a little bit more exposed. I think being naked is one of those things that is a rite of passage and I love doing it whether its in the sheets or on a beach.

One of your best, Grant. We needed an experiment that didn't disappoint you, as some of the others have. Joanna seems your best assistant yet, and I hope you'll consider bringing her on another adventure where her talents can again be put to good use. Long live this column, perhaps the best thing Hooksexup's got.

Very well written article but I found your choice of beach to use for your "experiment" disappointing. While there are many nude beaches at which overt sexual behavior is common there are many more where that isn't the case. You need to expand your experiment to include other beaches. I regularly attend the nude beach at Robert Moses State Park on Fire Island. At this beach there is very little overtly sexual behavior. Many regulars will confront individuals who are engaging in sexual activities on the beach. If a discussion with an individual doesn't solve the problem the police or rangers are occasionally asked to deal with the situation. There is a very strong sense of community at this beach. Most visitors are very friendly and helpful. There are many beaches like this where one can go to enjoy the feel of the sun and water unencumbered by clothing without being bothered by sexual activity or gawkers. Sexual activity at nude beaches should be discouraged whenever possible to help protect our rites to continue to visit these rare locations.

I would like to start a lobby to have Joanna assigned as Grant's permenant assistant for "I Did It for Science." All in favor:

Grant, was the nude beach sexually hot for you because of the nudity or because of Joanna. I am very modest but if you offered Joanna on a foray to a nude beach ... well, I would drive to the beach naked. Needless to say the men want more Joanna.

I did the same thing and had virtually the same experience you did at Sandy Hook. I remember coating myself liberally in SPF 48, in places where "the sun don't shine" to avoid an embarrassing burn. Then I made the mistake of lying down on the sand. When I got up, I looked like a veal cutlet. Sand was sticking to me in places I didn't know I had.

i loved this article. i have been to nude parks and beaches myself a number of times. have never seen such overt sexual activity. but i would like to visit a place like that. and joana is to die for.

As a female in my early 30s who's been going to Gunnison beach regularly for 7 years, I have to disagree with the way you portrayed the intentions of most beach goers. I realize this was a study done from the perspective of someone who was new to being nude in public, but I'm afraid your perspective was a bit skewed due to your own suspicions. You seemed to think that you and your female companion were being visual devoured by fellow beach-goers. I won't tell you that this doesn't happen, but I think your own (understandable) discomfort probably made you believe this was the case when that's usually not the norm. People are going to look at you if you are in front of them, just like if you were at the supermarket, but if they are regular nudists, they probably weren't taking much notice of you or your friend's genitalia. We've all seen it all. As far as there being a sexual overture at Gunnison, again, I think this was mostly in your mind. You didn't actually SEE anything more provocative than your companion putting your sunscreen on your dick, right? (Which by the way, isn't really cool to do there, since as you stated, you were perfectly capable of applying it yourself) Even after 6:00pm, when the lifeguards leave, open sexuality is frowned upon at Gunnison. People who enjoy going to that beach, and do it on a regular basis, are well-aware that blatant open sexuality will cause complaints, and therefore the possible closure of our beach, and therefore will speak up to any parties that could conceivably cause the rest of us problems. I hope that if you enjoyed your time at the beach, you will make it a point to visit more often and then you'll wind up with a better perspective of the people that go there and the goings on that actually occur. In the meantime, please be careful that what you publish to the public doesn't attract the sort of people that might confuse a nude beach with an orgy type atmosphere. To find that, they might want to book a trip Hedonism in Jamaica.

As a 67-year old who has been to Gunnison Beach, NJ, one time, and pondered differences between 30-something people and the so-called geriatrics, I offer the following: Yes, this beach is generally quiet and does not offer an overtly sexual atmosphere, but the ratio of men to women seemed (I didn't count) to be nearer 20-30:1. This beach, and perhaps any place of public nudity, offers an object lesson in the benefits of maintaining a good body. My experience is that physical appearance and well-being can be maintained, and sometimes enhanced, with a modest level of life-long effort and daily discipline. Men and women have mistaken notions of what is doable for themselves and available in partners of the opposite sex. They do themselves and the opposite sex a disservice. You can look great and physically appealing in your 60's and 70's, and there are people of the opposite sex who have managed it. And I offer myself as an example of that conclusion. There are exceptional older folk out there who know how it is done and who nevertheless are subject to the prejudice of stereotyping. Younger folk, and other folk, generally have unseeing eyes and minds.

Trust America to leer at nudity. I've been going to nudist beaches for ages in Europe, and there are particular beaches for particular preferences -- NONE of which end sexually, at least not overtly. The atmosphere is just, well, a day at the beach. In France, women openly doff their tops while sunbathing just about anywhere, including the public pool. No one looks twice. If elbows were constantly covered in public, we'd find them sexy uncovered. America (and England), try to remember that nudity does NOT necessarily equal sex!

No VAGINAS???

I've gone to Sandy Hook 1/2 dozen times or so. It's definitely a LOT different on the weekend. It's not as sexual as you describe. Also, on the "non-gay" side, the ratio is a little better. You'll also only find a few "fully clothed old men". Very few. Sounds like there were too many weirdos when you went. I go alone as a single hetero guy and like it a lot! I'm going this weekend. BTW, I have a car so if Joanna ever wants to go again and needs a ride....I'm right here!! [email protected]

i went to the nude beach not to far from hollywood florida very nice

This was one great story, and the pictures were good too. course I didn't look at it for the pictures.

There is more to being nude outside than perhaps your first experience would let on. America's nude beaches are a bit of a joke as far as I'm concerned. You have made some good observations though about various clashing interests on the beach, but this is nothing new. Check out my site about body-postive public nudity and learn more about how a new generation is expanding what is possible with their bodies, going beyond the timid, tired, and mediocre. b o d y f r e e d o m . o r g "A grass-roots body freedom advocacy site and user-friendly guide to help restore dignity to the body and soul in fun and creative ways."

Gunnison beach is probably the most non-sexual atmosphere on the Shore. I think you were just turned on by Joanna. My wife and I have been regulars at Gunnison for several years now and I can tell you that your impression was a little skewed. Not that it's your fault, after all you're a newbie. My advice would be to have someone who's regular introduce you around so you can actually talk to people instead of just visually observing us. Most of the folks at Gunnison are regulars and we protect our little piece of paradise vigorously. Which means we hate gawkers, asian men in their underwear, groups of Hispanic teenagers that just come to stare, etc. Oh, and articles that bring more pervs. If you want wild, open sex and nudity go to Hedonism II in Jamaica, I'm a regular there too and I can tell you that is very sexual, Gunnison is not. BTW-even though Joanna looks great, she's not the only hot bod on that beach. Most folks think it's just a bunch of old pervs and fat ladies that go there. I'm living proof that's not true.

Couldn't have been more on the money. At one time I was a relatively frequent visitor of Black's Beach in San Diego. And a couple of times I brought my wife along. We both thought it was sexy and wished there were private tents one could rent rather than having to go home to work it off. But the freedom to run, swim, play volleyball, or what have you without clumsy garments is worth the trip and the temporary embarassment. Everyone should take the opportunity to try it a couple of times.

Hello, Congratulations for your feature. Your say at some point that "There also seemed to be a great deal more amputees than you'd find in a random sampling of people. Why that is I can't be sure. Perhaps they're seeking acceptance for their bodies in a place that professes not to make judgments." Do you think that men with small ones go more to nude beaches in search of body acceptance? This could be a good theme for one of your writing trips to nude beaches. I am really curious. When you use the word "amputees" it may sound that you are moking them, because the word suggests a negative image. All the best, [email protected]

Grant - love this column, regardless of topic... funny, witty, always interesting - keep up the great work

I had a great laugh! Good job on the report. In Belgium nude beaches aren't sexual at all, there you will only find retired people and some back to nature family's as you called them. Those beaches are the more quite ones on a busy day on the Belgian coast tho!

This is hilarious. The best article i've read on Hooksexup ever. Had i been a more eloquent writer, I would have penned the same words to describe my first trip to the nude hot springs in Ukiah, CA. The funniest thing in the world is the combined look of horor and fascination on the faces of a lesbian couple when a naked man walks by.

As a former Nudist Iliked your article vey much itotally agrre with you on the population of nude beaches Inthe late70s when Ifirst started mostnudists were geniune(free body people) but in about7/8 years (early 80s0 i changed to gays & people who liked naded bodies

This article reads like a high school freshmans first attempt at writing a sociology paper. Gunnison is not a clothing optional resort like the author said it is one of the beaches in a National Park. Like some of the other feedback writers I have been to that beach only on weekends and like they observe it is very different from what the author has written. Yes it is not usunusal for people to look at others as they walk to the ocean. Hey, that sounds like what happens at every clothed beach I've been to. Yes there are some horny old men just like clothed beaches, and the vast majority of cable TV subscribers. Overall the authors views make the place seem a lot wilder than it is. My take is that it is not unlike clothed beaches but that you find a much larger number of openly gay men, far fewer families, children or teens, and more older couples. Also the majority of beachgoers seem to be far less occupied with the sexual aspect of things than the author. I would say this article is sensationalized and at points inaccurate.

Sh*t. Now I'm gonna have to go.

Your writer needs more experience! I think Hooksexup should send him to a beach or two, or perhaps a few real resorts (rather than public beaches)....and give a continuing view of the nude scene. For contrast, ask Joanna what her perspectives are. Men and women react very differently (emotionally) when they are nude in publc, and men can learn alot by listening to comments from "the other side". Having your companion sunscreen your delicate parts? A great idea...but not cool in most nudist venues. It's not that the situation isn't sexual....but being that overt is an invitation to legal problems. Do it yourself, or do it in private...just to help keep the cops away. Why go naked?... It feels great. It's fun to see what the rest of the world is hiding under those clothes...and it's only fair to let them see what you've been hiding. Go for a swim, a hike, a bikeride.....I've even run 10K races nude. No, no damage occurs...everything just tightens up for the duration of the race. Do a regular report...but do your own lotion. And get your companions comments...she may surprise you.

I've been going to Gunnison beach for twenty five years and I really don't recognize this place you have written about. I've never seen all the amputees you spoke of in the artical nor have I seen the man in panty hose with the croch cut out. I don't feel the sexual tension you spoke of either. It sounds like you wrote this at your desk and really haven't been to the same beach I visit. If your assistent did, as you say she did, rub your genitals with sunscreen then you were breaking beach rules. You drew a crown because you were the only couple that particitated in such poor judgement. You are lucky you didn't get thrown off the beach and given a fine for public lewdness. I hope you don't return to our beach and misbehave in this manner again. Hooksexup readers who expect to visit Sandy Hook and see the kind of behavior you have written about will be disappointed. We don't appreciate trashy and untrue publicity. Stay home!

Blocking the luscious Joanna's pubic hair wasn't fair. As an attendee of nude beaches , that's always one of the delights- seeing how it's groomed, if at all. On the Vineyard and elsewhere I've yet to see any cock rings, although in San Fran they were present. Must be a gay thing. Thanks for the lively report on NJ. More Joanna please.

the nude beach at sandy hook sounds like it's more lively than when my sweetie and i were there in the late 80's. at that time, the cleanup efforts hadn't taken effect. the shore was littered with medical- and other- paraphernalia; a quick dip (in the surf) wasn't an appealing option, and the beach was nearly empty. but, i felt that my mission was to support my love and her newly enhanced physique. she was 40ish, but had achieved a l'il annie fanny lookalike status and was anxious to share it with the immediate world. her daily regimen of swimming and screwing combined with her larger than lifesize aereolae to create a truly spectacular attraction. for my part, i was willing to expose my penile-challenged form for the cause. if my shortcomings happened to embolden some well endowed lout- well, what are friends for? anyway, the day wasn't a total washout only because a few fishing boats buzzed us and "annie" got to wave and prance for their benefit. thanks for the piece. ( and i liked joanna's contribution a lot.)

It has been 30 years since I went to what became famous, Blacks Beach north of San Diego and La Jolla. It was difficult to get to as one had to climb down steep paths and even use a rope to get down one slide! Another route was a road down from a set of very expensive cliff homes. There were old wrecked cars on the beach dumped over the cliffs and very tanned bearded hippies and a few couples then. I had met a young blond student (I was 32, she 20) who I had met on a La Jolla beach and was hot to go down to Blacks for her first time. After swimming naked and rubbing sun screen on each other (I brought a cooler full of beer, lunch, and fruit and a few joints) we found a small stand of trees and big boulders for some naked sex play and oral sex ending in some very hot girl on top screwing. We embraced in some water up to our necks and I managed to enter her standing up. Back behind the trees she loved doggie style screwing as she turned to see my expression as I went in and out grasping and spanking her young teen age cheeks. This was the beginning of many sex adventures I had down there, as between 1974 and 77 it was legal to be naked for around 300 yards. I became a weekend nudist and I met singles and couples, including young dancers from topless and all nude bars who worked on their all over tans. With a large beach umbrella, a cooler with beers and soft drinks and some joints, and a large beach towel, I was in cockhound paradise! The real heavy sex action was after 5 pm when we would be at a large home with a pool and a deck and two or more showers. One time I was on a bed with two young babes, one sucking my cock and her dance partner licking my balls and then mounting me after licking me all over. What a little cocaine will get in return! Blatant sex was not cool on the beach, but once in awhile a beautiful young couple would put on a show for me and my date by the girl applying lotion to her mans hard cock and let him kiss her nipple as she reached over. I got some expert blow jobs behind the rocks by a woman I had just met and then I mounted her for some noisy, sweaty screwing mixed with the great scent of Hawaiian Tropic sun screen! Ah yes, the good old days!

Back in the mid 70s Blacks Beach north of San Diego was a legal clothing optional beach until 1977. I was in my early 30s and spent many Saturdays and Sundays working on a decent tan, often with a woman who was a newcomer to nudity. I often went to a nudist resort east of San Diego which had many single members, including vivacious young women who loved to have their buns, backs and legs rubbed with sunscreen along with cold drinks, beer and snacks. Several times I ended up in a mobile home with another couple to smoke a few joints, sip wine on a sofa and then engage in some heavy sex. Having a young babe work on her oral skills while sitting next to a man with his woman orally enjoying him is one hell of an experience! Both honeys kept their heels on, just like the porno babes do as they mounted us for a lap dance before we gripped their bare buns for a sweaty in and out session, nipples in our mouths as they let us spank them until they came. More showers, another drink, another joint and then more sun on the lawn. Blatant sex on the beach was not cool, but more than one woman could be seen pulling on her mans cock as she applied sunscreen before he dived into the surf in embarrasment. There were a few large boulders and some trees below the cliffs for some hot screwing for those who loved making love on a sun blasted beach!

Yes and No. I have been to Gunnison a number of times, never seen anyone with a cockring or other bizzare attire. In general, a very typical, not particularly sex-charged nude beach. A detail worth mentioning: this beach is WIDE and LONG. Upon entering the beach, the beverage kiosk looks nearly like a dot on the horizon, it's a 10-15 minute walk through soft sand to the water, even after the wooden walkway ends. Most, tired of walking, congregate here, gays to the right. The beachgoers thin out further to the right,then the strand is deserted, save for a few walkers.To the extreme limit of the nude area, we are talking about the better part of a mile, you can't tell if your'e looking at people or flotsam. Stories to the contrary, I haven't seen any Live Sex Shows in the main area, but some privacy is achieved by some individuals by walking down the ffar end. On a Saturday evening, I saw a lively, romantic Hispanic couple playing in & out of the surf, nothing you wouldn't see on any beach, except that our man had a persistent erection, which he made no attempt to hide. When I walked on, and I was "far enough away" I couldn't resist looking back, and yes indeed, they were having sex. Kept walking. The thing is, they basically WERE in private, they stopped whenever anyone got close, nowhere near any childeren. There was very little possibility of them offending anyone, you'd have had to walk 1/2 a mile deliberately to THEM. I thought it was No Big Deal if these two indulged thier passions on the far outskirts of the beach. Irony: you can go to a dance club and see couples as lewd as hell with clothes ON, but we are expected to forget all sexual interests with them OFF?

You have convinced us to do it afterall you only live twice.