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Experiment: Under New York state law, all chests are created equal: both men and women can go topless in public, provided you expose your breasts in a manner "neither lewd nor intended to annoy or harass." On a hot summer day, would going topless in a public park prove empowering, or would I get burned?

Hypothesis: Guys do it all the time, and the law says I have the right to bare breasts. Moving this equal right from theory to practice should be just as relaxing as any other afternoon in Central Park.

Materials
:
Breasts (literally)
Public Park
Balls (figuratively)

Method
:
Even though I knew the law was on my side, female toplessness still felt like the medical marijuana of the east coast: legal but somehow illicit. I was nervous as hell the morning of my experiment. Even worse, I couldn’t decide what to wear. I settled on gym shorts and a tank top, with a nice bra underneath since everyone would be seeing it. It was like getting ready for a hot date: I was apprehensive, flustered and had already decided how naked I'd get by the end of the night.

I promised a day of sunshine and laughs (perhaps at my expense) to two friends/bodyguards, and we arrived at the Sheep's Meadow in Central Park with blankets, books, and my boobs. The clearing was packed with sunbathers; although no one was topless, there were a rainbow of skimpy bikinis and skin across the lawn. We claimed a clear patch of land and, far sooner than I would have liked, it was time to take off my top. "Here," my friend Jim offered, removing his own shirt, "I'll do it too."

Easy for him to say, he’s been doing this for decades, I thought as I pulled off my tank top. So far, so good, but still nervous as hell. I thought perhaps I could ease into the public nudity by acting like I was sun-bathing. I lay on my stomach and removed my bra, and rested a moment, thinking feminist and empowered thoughts. We were making progress, but I couldn't hide face-down all day.

So I sat up. My hand instinctively grasped my breasts for modesty, my bosom spilling over my fingertips. I didn’t want to let go. "I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna remove my hand," I said to no one in particular. And then I did.

Results:
There they were — in the sunlight, the eyes of God and New York Penal Law 245.01 — my boobs out, nipples blazing. The girls sitting on the blanket next to us giggled. Some passersby glanced over, smiles on a couple of the guys' faces. My nipple ring glinted in the sun. Amazingly, I felt relatively calm. Warm. Neither lightning nor cops had struck me down. Furtively looking around, I noticed some guys attempting to be respectful. Maybe they were just thinking be cool or she'll put her top back on, but gentlemen would glance over and grin, but rarely stare. No one cat-called or made lewd comments. So many people were showing skin, and it was so hot, my toplessness didn't feel like a big deal.

Five minutes in, however, my skin was sizzling. The Irish were not made to be a topless people. Rubbing SPF 15 onto my nipples made me feel a little dirty — and a little silly for bringing only SPF 15. I tried to chat with my friends, but I found it hard to concentrate. More and more people were looking over at me, and when everyone's staring at you, you can't look anywhere for fear of making awkward eye contact. I may have been topless, but I was still shy. It's not common for me to make eye contact with strangers. It's even less likely if they're staring at my tits or taking pictures with their iPhones.

Three sunscreen applications later, my girlfriend Megan pointed out, "The trouble with sun bathing is I'm already bored. I want to get a hot dog or something." A quick scan revealed a hot-dog stand at the corner of the Sheep's Meadow, just outside the fence marking the lawn's border. I didn't know what would happen if we left the sanctuary. But for hungry, topless women everywhere, I would find out.



        
 

81 Comments

nice diddy

eos commented on 08/24

this was hilarious yet somehow also adorable. finally, something in this column that required real balls to do.

moo commented on 08/24

jeez what's with the shorts?

z commented on 08/24

it is a real shame that you were given so much trouble. Also I am surprised you didn't challenge the park worker who made up the law - which said nothing about it being okay when sunbathing but not when you are going to the restroom. >.> that is crap - guys can stand in line to the restroom with their top off. I hate the fact that people make breasts into such a big hairy deal. lol. Anyway kudos to you! If more of us did similar things we would break down the taboo in no time.

jj commented on 08/24

for hungry, topless women everywhere, i say huzzah!

kyli commented on 08/24

I can't understand why the Raeleans want us to go topless. Will it help facilitate our teleportation to the mothership?

god commented on 08/24

Finally, someone willing to be topless for science. This article is hilarious.

mc commented on 08/24

Very well written. I loved the format, the similies, the descriptions, the humor, and the insights. I felt so nervous and excited with you! Keep these great articles coming, Meghan!

c commented on 08/24

man, you must have gotten a wicked sunburn--exposing skin that's NEVER seen sunlight--SPF15?!?!? What were you THINKING???? You needed some 75+ for that job.

alr commented on 08/24

you describe your topless experiment in such a charming and witty way. i admire your bravery! a really great article!

Cok commented on 08/24

meh, got my big brown boobs out in the park all summer long. if anywhere in the US, should above the usual puritanical modesty issues, It's New Yorkers. Most would give a sh*t if I had 3 naked tits out.

KG commented on 08/24

No disrespect: but if you were simply very attractive, you'd find the same kind of reactions from other women daily. It works like this: if men notice you, women hate you.

ixv commented on 08/24

you're so adorable, i almost can't stand it.

hee commented on 08/24

...just another reason to love redheads!

get commented on 08/24

@ixv, she's a redhead with nice tits. are you serious?

lik commented on 08/24

boy am i glad to have grown up in a country where exposed breasts aren't such a big fucking deal. nipplegate was a joke to us in 'yurp'.

nh commented on 08/24

French woman have been topless on the beach for decades.

AC commented on 08/24

I was at a festival in NY soon after the law was passed. The announcer at the festival said something about "topless... not just a good idea, it's the law!". A couple of ladies enjoyed their new freedom and were bouncing around. It looked more painful than fun or sexy. I don't understand all the fuss -- it was far easier for me to look at something else than to even think about scolding the ladies who were enjoying themselves.

tj commented on 08/24

Way to go! Don't let the man (or park employees) keep you down! This article was hilarious and informative. My favorite kind.

AAE commented on 08/24

The fear of nakedness, gayness, and stylish clothing in America amazes me. Maybe people need to travel 'back' (meaning forward) in time and evolve. Darwin, are you taking notes on this?

nh commented on 08/24

Good for you! I'm surprised that you got so much heat from other women. I guess the last 40 years of liberation haven't had the impact we thought. This is yet another reason to support everyday science!

JHN commented on 08/24

i want to know...would you ever do it again? there must have been something a little delicious about it all. or maybe i just think you're really hot :)

win commented on 08/24

Topless for both sexes is legal across Canada (Charter of Rights and Freedoms - s.15), but only the boys show their breasts.

sfw commented on 08/24

You should really go to Burning Man. It's an amazing environment where people can be who they are and do what they want without others judging them. In fact nobody even cares if you're naked or clothed, either way you're just a person.

ZO commented on 08/24

I'm disappointed that the park official discouraged you. Shouldn't it have been legal?

KsZ commented on 08/24

I wonder, if the breast weren't so taboo in this country, would I be as happy when one was exposed in front of me? It'd be a shame to wreck something that awesome.

MJL commented on 08/24

Very perky of you!! (sorry, couldn't resist, my eyes are drawn more to your smile than anywhere else)

MO commented on 08/24

You might be more comfortable someplace less uptight than the east coast.

SW commented on 08/24

i'm no expert, but why can't this girl and and the vibrator girl do this column all by themselves? maybe they can even team up and uh, do things together...okay i just got distracted but the point is, they were both so good, i don't know why Hooksexup keeps throwing other lame ones at us. variety sure, but not at the expense of awesomeness.

twee commented on 08/24

What a ballsy thing to do! I love how humorous and insightful the piece is, please keep them coming!

YAC commented on 08/24

I've never been to Burning Man, but more than one person has mentioned the nudity as a good thing. Maybe it is a better environment, but I think people still do care. Particularly, the guys. :)

JSK commented on 08/25

When I look at the picture of you holding the drink and dog, all I can think is "Thank God!", that just looks so normal, finally someone gets it. I have NEVER understood why it is OK to discriminate based on sex when it comes to not wearing a shirt in public. Either it is just as OK for women or it is not OK for men - can't have it both ways and be who we say (think) we are as a society. Kudos for your bravery in pushing your personal boundaries in the name of science and equality!

rtm commented on 08/25

Your French passport is on the way.

CDG commented on 08/25

Prohibition would be a public morality law. Under Spanish Constitution that kind of laws are not valid. In fact, in Spain it is perfectly legal to go completely nude in public places. And such beautiful redhead, we need more real redheads in Spain. Please visit some day!

FGB commented on 08/25

Wow. Gorgeous body. (I'm a woman.)

CLY commented on 08/25

Awesome of you to test this, I've experienced the opposite. I, male, was at a rooftop pool party and was asked to leave because I got naked when they routinely let girls get naked. I had already put my clothes back on, but they were still polite and let me say goodbye before kicking me out.

FL commented on 08/25

As mentioned: If you feel to oppressed, go the Barcelona beach, the Berlin parks or actually anywhere in Europe. No shame involved there...

sg commented on 08/25

Fantastic! At first I thought that this was going to be some boring story about the American prude rolling over on her towel, exposing the girls for a couple of minutes, and then running off. And then you go for a hot dog and impressed the heck out of me. The bathroom topped it~going topless that is! Reminded me of my first time at a French nudist colony... every time I locked the door to my room to go to the beach I went to put my keys in my pocket and thought "holy crap, I'm not wearing pants-- and I'm in the hallway!"

SHG commented on 08/25

Nice tits.

JH commented on 08/25

Real courage, and adorably reported. No one seems to have connected the author's reactions to the culture that formed them. i.e. the concensus is that it shouldn't be a big deal, but it was obviously a huge deal to the author, otherwise all the, ahem, tittering by the other women wouldn't have phased her. And in the end, we are to understand it's a one-shot deal--that the author wouldn't do it again..... that she's more comfortable getting back in line, as it were. Which I do not point out in the pejorative, but simply that it seems to be the case. Anyway, quite a titilating story.... and a great medium for as many breast synonyms as one can pack into a piece--one that simultaneously decries our obsession with breasts, and celebrates it. Hm.

ARB commented on 08/25

I don't see what the problem is with women going topless. People here in the US need to get over their problems with nudity.

mp commented on 08/25

In Denmark, it's quite normal for women to walk around with their breasts enjoying the same free air as the men's chests. In fact, sometimes I wish that wasn't so (you die a little inside when you see 75 year old nipples)

JD commented on 08/25

I'm breastfeeding my baby six times a day all over New York with no discretion whatsoever (except in restaurants; seems like bad table manners) and no one pays any attention. Really, I'd be much more self-conscious in a bikini on the lawn on a Saturday.

SJ commented on 08/25

So funny how Americans make such a big deal out of nudity. In France we expose our tiny little breasts for all to see and it's no big deal.

Mari commented on 08/25

I wonder, if the breast weren't so taboo in this country, would I be as happy when one was exposed in front of me? It'd be a shame to wreck something that awesome.

MJL commented on 08/25

@MJL and that's why breasts exist, sir. to excite you once every couple years.

M commented on 08/25

Great job Meghan!! Keep it up for boobs. *bianca*

BM commented on 08/25

I hope you didn't get too sunburned. Our people are definitely not meant to be in the sun.

DH commented on 08/25

Did your perky lily white nipples get burned? Because that would be notable.

ghf commented on 08/25

This was adorable --as is the writer. But--direct sun is not good for the breasts--it will destroy the collogen (sp?)which will make them sag later in life. So-sadly, ladies, keep your tops on when out in the sun. The shade now, that's a whole other matter.

DJ commented on 08/25

Good for you for trying this! But I'm a pasty white girl too, so ow ow ow for your tender breast skin. Also, I love your Natalie Dee bag!

CMD commented on 08/26

Very interesting and funny read. I'm a pretty self conscious guy, so I don't know if I could do that. Thank you for your commitment to science. Plus, I believe the murmuring women were just jealous of how beautiful you are and were able to pull that off! Sorry, had to be said.

JRT commented on 08/26

I'm sure the hot dog guy appreciated your ample tips.

WAC commented on 08/26

wow, good for you, impressive

dc commented on 08/26

I recall when the law went into effect. There was a woman riding the subway topless and being interviewed for TV news but they had her breasts blocked out. It made no sense to me that a child could see her on the street or on the subway but the TV had to have a stricter code. America sexuality.

wmg commented on 08/26

Maybe for a shy girl Meghan's actions took courage, but honestly, how privileged are you when the most daring thing you can think of doing is to take your top off for an afternoon in a very liberal city in the summer? seriously, if she had ever faced any hardships in her life, she would've passed on this assignment as beneath her. look at how experimental i am! Self-indulgent yuppie. in a world where women are forced to cover themselves from head to toe, and are burned with acid for disobeying a man's wishes, i am not impressed by her audacity. booji, yuppie wuss.

dar commented on 08/26

wow, dar, where in the world did you find such a high horse? and when did the orphanage you run in calcutta get internet access?

ps commented on 08/26

this is a sweet silly piece. science class should be more like this.

urb commented on 08/26

hey dar, are you a girl? if so, i suggest you do it and see if it's sooooo easy. if not, i suggest you shut the fuck up.

jez commented on 08/27

Way to go! I've become a big fan of the nude beach... feels good to get the girls out in the sun, without all the giggling & pointing. For future reference... it's all about the spray-on suntan lotion, which spares you having to rub yourself all over ;)

wwc commented on 08/27

This is so awesome. I frequently have the dream where I find myself naked in public, or often just topless, and instead of being embarrassed, I'm pissed off at everyone else making such a big deal about it. I don't have the guts to do it in real life, though.

HC commented on 08/27

Ketchup on a hotdog?

ces commented on 08/27

Way to go, pretty Irish girl. Do a sequel, but with more pictures next time.

FR commented on 08/27

I can't see your boobs, there's fast food in the way. Your prudishness with the photo kinda runs counter to the point of the article.

rar commented on 08/27

Big effin' deal. This county is such a pack of prudes. (Well, maybe as bad as Iran) Best idea for sunscreening the chest bumps: Have your boyfriend apply the potion.

MS commented on 08/27

Add "not" to that last message. You know where.

MS commented on 08/27

I am 70 years old! First time I went top less was on the Costa Del Sole in Spain and I was 30! Hard to do at first then became very easy and natural. America needs to wake up. There is nothing wrong with going topless or for that matter beeing nude. Dorian

dh commented on 08/27

You go girl. Keep up the good work. Why hide your nipples on the subway,I love nipples.

BRF commented on 08/27

is everyone crazy?! boobs are boobs. women have them, men don't. even though it's awesome she had the confidence to do this, it doesn't justify what is clearly beyond normal exposure. it's not about being sexist..it's a simple anatomical fact. keep your privates covered. i can't help how you choose to dress when the law's on your side, but more importantly, i, or anyone else, can't control what they see when they're standing in line at a hot dog stand. a little consideration would be appreciated by more than just me i'm sure.

ge commented on 08/28

hey look what you turned yourself into....WALKING PORNOGRAPHY!!!!!!! go get some boots and stand on a street corner.

ks commented on 08/28

Ok, I live in French Canada, and bare breasts are no big deal for us, first of all, most Montreal woman are tens compared to most Americans, so I am not very impressed. Even here in Montreal its hard to get impressed by all the tens, because it like a buffet so much available. Poor New Yorkers, i guess the smallest thing will create excitement, but here it takes a lot for us to get excited!

IJ commented on 08/28

Seriously guys (I mean Americans) I feel so sorry for you. In Europe women sunbathing hopeless are common view and there is no "funny smiles" from immature, sexually insecure guys. The porn industry in US is thriving but sunbathing naked is an act of feminism? How sad and hypocritical is that? Once again it made me realise that Europe is much more healthy sane mature and tolerant society. Just read those comments "keep your privates hidden", "walking pornography" had sad and funny is that. For me it's simply unthinkable that such a normal, perfectly healthy natural thing as woman sunbathing topless becomes an issue that should be discussed and rises so many different opinions.

KZ commented on 08/29

ks's vicious comment does not contribute to the discussion and does not meet the standards that should apply here. There always seem to be some who take advantage of the anonymity of the web to be nasty in ways that they would never be in person.

mns commented on 08/29

Somehow if you were serious, you would not have put such prudish pics in this article. Hopefully someday this country will move beyond being outraged by public nudity. Alas that day will only come when the last vestiges of Mythology and Superstition (ie. religion) are wiped from its face.

SWC commented on 08/30

I just wanted to say 'well done' for doing what you did in the park! In Europe it's a normal thing for women to go topless, especially at the beach. I like going topless as I don't like those ugly tan lines. Nobody ever stares or harasses anyone and it really shouldn't have been that stressful for you. The people who gave you strange looks were probably just stunned by, or jealous of your beautiful body. Having read your article, it seems some Americans are not used to such an environment. But if it's never done by people again like yourself, maybe society will never change.

SF commented on 08/30

I'm a guy. This is the same type of experience I had the first time I wore a kilt in public.

MW commented on 08/30

Poor Americans... I just returned from a holiday in Rügen (Germany where almost 50% of the whole beach is sunbathing FULLY NAKED (they call it FKK German for free body culture). Nobody is bothered or offended. And Amercans already flip at seeing a single boob.... Yeah free country I suppose...

PMJW commented on 08/31

but why are your nipples covered in all the photos in the (great) article - ok in public but on the internet?

poh commented on 08/31

Great Job, Meghan. NYC is the perfect place for this experiement and your piece is well-written, interesting and very, very funny.

BDC commented on 08/31

Thanks for doing this! One day hopefully us ladies everywhere will enjoy the same freedom guys do. It's stupid that my body has been so sexualized that I cannot even take off my shirt without guys turning into animals. And why should I have to change my behavior just because they cannot control themselves, hum?!

AH commented on 08/31

i'm a guy. stop saying we turn into animals! I dont care if she's topless. I guess most guys would look, but not go crazy. & why do women wear bras? i know i dont cause i'm a man but i also dont wear underwear. underclothes suck. if u want to be topless then i guess its scary here but many countries they dont give a shit. i actually hate wearing clothes

mca commented on 08/31
 

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