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Female • 17 years old • Canada

I'd been seventeen for about six weeks. School had let out in late June, and since then I'd been cruising through the days in a cloud of smoke. I was even living on my own because my relatives were visiting from the other side of the world and crashing at my dad's until the end of summer. By mid-July, I'd tried ecstasy twice, seen my dad maybe half a dozen times, and had not gone a single day without being stoned.

I thought I was the shit.

It wasn't planned out — nothing was planned out that summer. I spent my days jobless and bored, chilling with my best friend while she worked her lifeguarding shift at a private pool down the street from my temporary home. One afternoon, we were craving drinks, but the liquor-store workers knew how to identify fake IDs better than an American border cop. Obviously, we decided to shoulder-tap. Long story short, we met some guys who not only bought us drinks, but invited us to a 'party' at their friend's place. The party turned out to be a dud, but on a munchies mission, one of the guys and I ended up hooking up in the rain. Woulda been romantic and all if I hadn't been ready to keel over in hunger.


Illustration by Thomas Pitilli

He came over the next day, this older boy whose name I can no longer remember, and we ended up hooking up again. This time, we tried to take it all the way. Note the word tried. Didn't work: bastard was huge, and foreplay nonexistent.

Boy number two played the guitar. He was older, and with my ecstasy-goggles on, he was cute. And I needed to bond. E-tards know what I'm talking about. It was embarrassing.

Things started out great. He really did have magic fingers, and I was convinced that this time, things would work out right. I was wrong. Maybe I was biased because of my first "first time", but guitar-boy was plunged to the hilt and I couldn't feel anything. So I'd gone from the large end of the spectrum to the small. At least this time it hadn't hurt.

No more drugs. Third time being the charm and all, I wanted to be sober.

Eight months passed by. Smoked weed every day, got myself off when I could, and soon I found boy number three. But this one was kind of special to me. Via Facebook, we'd decided to rekindle our friendship from primary school. Chemistry was instantaneous. Two spliffs later, we were on each other like rabbits. And the third time really was the charm.
We're looking for stories about the first time you had sex. Email with 500-1000 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited.

Comments ( 12 )

EC has done more harm to her crusade than she can fathom. Universal ridicule is a poor basis for pursuing political action!

NN commented on Dec 23 09 at 1:09 am

EC, you are seriously missing out on the wonders of drunk/stoned/high sex.

rem commented on Dec 22 09 at 6:43 pm

ALSO REM, WHILE I WOULD NOT SAY I FIND DRUNK SEX WONDEROUS, I HAVE WRITTEN PREVIOUSLY ABOUT HOW I ONCE CONSENTED WHILE DRUNK. I WAS NEVER THE PERSON WHO SAIS THAT THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. AND I THINK WHOEVER FEELS A NEED TO CONTINUE THIS TOPIC IS A SICK FUCK, PERSONALLY. (AND PROBABLY A FRAT BOY WHO CAN'T GET LAID) BUT EITHER WAY, THE MISOGYNY IS KIND OF SICKENING

EC commented on Dec 23 09 at 2:25 pm

In contrast to traditional efforts that address men as

LAME commented on Dec 23 09 at 3:06 pm

EC, your behavior in here has become the issue. Take a deep breath, detach and look at how jarring your first post above is. The first two posts are about this first time article then BOOM, here comes EC, still fighting last month's fight appropos of nothing else on the page. What gives with that?

ta commented on Dec 23 09 at 4:49 pm

Caps Lock = Unhinged

NN commented on Dec 23 09 at 5:20 pm

So EC reported this thread to Hooksexup, and they deleted the comments that got her started. So now she just looks like a totally unprovoked and completely unhinged lunatic. LOL.

XO commented on Dec 23 09 at 5:45 pm

EC's problem is that she is totally unreasonable. First she proposes an admittedly non-standard definition that is bound to raise controversy. Then when the controversy comes she ridicules her opponents and tries to minimize the legitimate concerns raised regarding false accusations or how consent could be determined. It is one thing to debate, it is another to sarcastically attack, imply that others are moral monsters and then, when challenged, spew the same tired feminist boilerplate without engaging with your opponent.

NN commented on Dec 23 09 at 6:03 pm

The non-standard-definition-currently-in-favor among-advocacy-groups-and-a-minority-of-university-campuses-has-the-following-effects: it raises the bar with respect to what counts as consent. By requiring a person to actively voice consent rather than merely not object to what is happening and by defining anything other than this as rape, it has the result of shifting the burden of responsibility to the 'active' partner in such a way that a person who was unwilling but who did not say 'no' would be absolved of any blame or consequence for failing to voice her attitude. It also has the effect of redefining into rape a great many sexual encounters that would, if not for the proposed definition, otherwise not be considered rape. Although the author of the proposal denies that it treats all women as potential victims she readily admits that it is intended to "it's to provide extra protection to people who might feel too afraid to say "no."" and in so doing seems to treat a woman that is too fearful to say 'no' as the most significant player in the policy proposal. If I have left anything out please let us know, but I still say this is a bullshit double standard that will never make into policy using democratic methods!

MNM commented on Dec 23 09 at 6:07 pm

So, by deleting all the other comments is Hooksexup implying that EC now owns the copyright to the initials "EC?" Like, is no other person on the planet with the same initials allowed to comment here now?

BJC commented on Dec 23 09 at 8:05 pm

Well she didn't wait till she got back to Antioch, but all the rest was spot on!

QRE commented on Dec 23 09 at 8:43 pm

Here's the thing. If you get drunk and kill someone you can still be convicted of murder if the jury believes you intended to kill the person. That means that legally you can form intent to commit murder while drunk. Therefore it seems to me like you should be able to form intent to get laid while drunk.

BJC commented on Dec 24 09 at 7:43 pm

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