It was Valentine's Day. We went out to dinner and went through all the motions — stupid pink and red gifts, stuffed teddy bears with roses... all that hokey crap that we just bought into. We ended up on the couch in her apartment, which was weird because she was definitely a bedroom-with-the-lights-off kind of girl. I remember that the Olympics were on TV, and I found myself more interested in the performance of Katarina Witt than I was in the warm and loving person lying on top of me. After a long period of bumping and grinding and groping — all of my moves executed with the intent of giving me a clear view of the TV — she slumped against me and started crying. She told me that she couldn't remember the last time I told her that she was pretty or when I had ever initiated the "I love you" conversation. I realized what an ass I had been and was being, and threw myself into finishing the job, as if this one copulative performance was going to be the cure-all for the relationship. Worst. Sex. Ever. No timing, no connection, just raw rutting and avoidance of eye contact. A sad beginning of the end of a once-promising relationship. Looking back, I can't say that I was particularly interested in Fraulein Witt... but my fixation on her landing some sort of double jumpy turn-around thing proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Pun intended. We're looking for stories about the first, best, worst, weirdest, and funniest times you had sex. Email with 300-800 words. (Don't worry, we won't print your name — but please do make sure to include your gender, where you were, and how old you were.) Submissions may be edited, especially if you go all Wonder Years on us. Thanks! 8 Commentsgm commented on 07/21 kk commented on 07/21 EM commented on 07/21 cnh commented on 07/21 BZ commented on 07/21 ja commented on 07/21 jlo commented on 07/22 Previous First Times
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