Disenfranchised farmers in Veracruz stage a naked protest.

"Right now, you would think I have a preference for blondes because of my last two wives, but I actually don't. It just kinda worked out that way. I actually prefer the dark, exotic, brown, dark-haired Brazilian woman." —Tommy Lee.

Every once in a while, we at Hooksexup like to take a little board game break in our common area. Okay, the whole office is a common area — it's a loft — but we spend most of our day in fierce denial of this fact, IMing co-workers three-feet away.
   But we acknowledged each other's existence the other morning in order to try out this week's freebie: "SEXDRIVE."
    While eager to relive our mirthful Pervartistry experience, we were a little wary of this one because of its press materials' puntasticness: "Silver Summit Games presents SEXDRIVE: the hilarious pedal-to-the-metal, shift your gears, honk your horny game." In brief, each person or team drives their car around the board answering questions or doing various dares involving notepad and pencil or sculpting clay (which Tobin insists smells "like ass") or charades and if you get all eight "category certificates" you win. We didn't make it that far.
   "Uh, they trademarked 'Truth or Phallus,'" Gwynne said in a concerned voice.
   Nevertheless, for your sake, we dove right in.
   Thinking ourselves smarter than the game, we arranged the ten thousand cards and pieces intuitively and started rolling the twelve-sided die while Tobin read the instructions as questions came up. And they started to come up fairly quickly.
   "Does the card really say 'milking' is a way to make a penis appear bigger?"
   "Are you sure 'tush' isn't on the list of the ten most popular names for butt?"
   "I got that right — does that mean I get my Libido Learning Permit?"
   "So I got this card through the SEXDRIVE BODY SHOP — does that mean I have to turn my card over?"
   The instructions finally had to be grabbed out of a shellshocked Tobin's hands and read in their entirety. "Two categories have a slightly different approach to the way they are played. They are the ORANGE-TROJAN HORSE "MISCONCEPTIONS"(TM) and PURPLE MASTER DEBATER(TM) on the OUTER COURSE...The MASTER DEBATER category provides the TOP 3 TO 15 ANSWERS...depending on the question..."
   As play continued, haltingly, we began to have other questions, like, "Did you notice all the KEEPING ABREAST questions directed toward women are statistics jokes like, 'In a survey about dating, what percentage of women think it is okay to date three or more men at the same time? A.11. B.31. C.89. D.100 percent, if all the men are Johns!'"
   "Who is this game FOR?" became the new question.
   "Wait, maybe this would be a good way to get comfortable talking frankly about sex," said the democratic Sarah.
   "This space is called PUBIC PARKING," deadpanned Gwynne. And with that, the game was abandoned.

"PRESS RELEASE — Wee Sing Again for the Holidays — There are few things more magical for children than the holidays. But, what if they could ride on a snowflake to visit Santa at the North Pole? With Wee Sing's new holiday DVD, Wee Sing The Best Christmas Ever, children can imagine their way with Poofer the elf as he takes them to Santa's workshop on his snowflake sleigh...What is the staying power of Wee Sing?"

Hustler is publishing a lesbian love scene starring Paris Hilton.