Oh, trend pieces. You’re just the perfect mix of infuriating and made up. Baby naming website nameberry.com – a trusted source – said that this year, some of the fastest growing names for children who will resent their parents forever are inspired by celebrities – you know, people like Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and the dog from Marley and Me. I wish I could take credit for coming up with that joke, but that’s actually real. So I guess the joke is on the babies. Poor, helpless babies.
But that’s not all! You might think, “Wow, naming your son/daughter after the dog from Marley and Me should automatically disqualify you from being a parent, because it cannot get worse than that.” You’d be wrong.
Fictional characters are also inspiring parents, with the website listing Sloane, the name of a character on TV show “Entourage” becoming more popular for girls while all the names from the hit vampire movie franchise “Twilight” — Edward, Cullen, Bella, Esme — were becoming favorites.
I have a proposal. There should be a test everyone must take before they can become a parent. There is only one question:
“Is it okay to name a child after a character from Twilight?”
And I think we all know there is only one answer.