Mattel Will Release Mad Men Barbie Dolls

I need these. Immediately. According to The New York Times,

The dolls are part of a premium-price collectors’ series for adults that Mattel calls the Barbie Fashion Model Collection. Although there have been Barbies and Kens based on other TV series, among them “I Love Lucy” and “The X-Files,” the dolls will be the first licensed line for that collection, Mattel says, with a suggested retail price of $74.95 each.

So that's just $299.80 I'll have to squirrel away to get my hands on these things. But there some downsides. For one thing, while the dolls come with several clothing accessories, they won't be sold with tiny cigarettes or martini glasses, because the Barbie brand is obviously too pure for such racy business as fake plastic cocktail shakers. And I'd like to take this moment to mention that Joan obviously needs wider hips and a bigger bust (and probably a wider waist, too), because right now she looks just like Betty, and that is so very wrong. Also, where on earth is the Peggy doll?

You might be thinking, "If Scanner James has so many complaints about these dolls, why is he considering some petty theft in order to pay for them?" Well, dear readers, it's because even with their issues, these dolls are a huge step up from this:

Never forget.