Radical anti-masturbation candidate wins stunning primary upset in Delaware
By Brian FairbanksSeptember 15th, 2010, 9:18 amComments (20)
A fearsome new candidate has emerged from last night's brutal primaries, defying the odds and the political establishment and coasting to a decisive victory. Her name is Christine O'Donnell, she is the GOP nominee for Senate out of Delaware, a Tea Party member, practically persona non grata in her own party, and scarier than a Rush Limbaugh-Ron Reagan crypt baby.
O'Donnell, for one thing, does not believe in masturbation. Sure, she believes it exists (easily-duped right-wing zealots believe pretty much anything you tell them), she probably just walked in on someone practicing the wacky whacking-off and never got it out of her mind. (Choice quote: "The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust.")
She lobbied Congress to create a program "advocating chastity" and is against premarital sex, porn of any kind, abortion, keeping the old and infirm alive, and Obamacare. I'm not certain on the "old and infirm" part, but based on how much the GOP hates her, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a rumor they tried to spread.
O'Donnell caused friction between Sarah Palin and Bill Kristol, to which I say, "Bring it on!" "I know Sarah Palin," Kristol said, to our eternal laughter. "I respect Sarah Palin. And with all due respect — Christine O'Donnell is no Sarah Palin."
Now you know why the GOP is terrified of her nomination and their prospects for taking this seat in November. A few political pundits have already moved the race from Lean Republican to Lean Democrat based on how high her negatives are with anyone except people who think the Bible trumps every facet of the Constitution. America, this is your GOP candidate for Senate.
Commentarium (20 Comments)
YES!!! Bye GOP, Hello Tea Party!
I for one can't wait until the GOP takes control of everything, including the military, nuclear weapons, and local and state government. Bring it on! *much laughter ensues*
it seems like a lot of people these days are confusing radical with reactionary.
**reactionary and radical
I am more and more unfrightened by this election coming up.
To me, it looks like the Republick Party* is going to get a slight House majority and either either a dead tie (broken by Biden) or a slightly bigger minority in the Senate.
And to me, that looks like the power to do almost nothing BUT still enough presence in government to share in the blame for everything that continues to go wrong in the country/world. In other words, the Republicks will win responsibility for problems but insufficient authority to solve them.
I'm feeling more and more like partyin' like it's 1996.
*Not a misspelling. If the Democratic Party is now "the Democrat Party" then turnabout--and 18th-century spelling--is fair game.
she's lucky 14-year-olds aren't allowed to vote
anti-masturbation, but judging from her necklace, pro-anal bead
The title of this post should be, "Democrat wins Delaware Senate Race - Two Months Before Election".
She's probably a closet slut too.
I dream that some of these wackos are actually just punking the Tea Party movement and seeing how far they can go...please please please let this be the case!
"anti-masturbation, but judging from her necklace, pro-anal bead" — maybe it's like 'technical virgins'; it doesn't count if it's just in the butt.
Moops, we should all run as Tea Party candidates and then let Commies take over everything when we win!
Here's a dream/nightmare scenario I imagine: In another 2-6 years, the entire Republican/Tea caucus and/or electoral field will consist not of cranky dyspeptic and/or octogenarian white guys but rather of wafer-thin, bottle-blond or -redhead Fox News co-eds with collagen smiles and brittle personal styles. It just seems the way things are headed.
...oh and I should've added: Communications or Marketing majors, even one of them
*every one of them
This chick is ridiculous but you should realize that this is stuff she said back in high school.
Wrong, "Stupid." Her comments came while working as a 30-something Christian activist and she hasn't changed her position. The GOP is unhappy about her for reasons other than her platform -- they doubt she can win.
fap fap fap fap fap...
Nobody can be that old an cute and "out there" and still a virgin. She has social skills or she would not have won the election. Calling all guys (or girls) who can destroy her "no-sex-before-marriage" myth. Bring it out into daylight. If not...who wants to elect a 30-something virgin? What is else is wrong with her besides denying basic human desires and needs?
"The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust." Maybe the Bible says that and maybe it doesn't; I wouldn't know. But how can someone who is not married be commiting adultery?
Now you say something