We Saw A Movie About A Guy With No Balls

Scanner Brian will be reporting from SXSW Film and Music all week. So, we saw this movie that starts out with a guy getting felt up by an apparent…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (2)

Political Posters From Carly Fiorina's Nightmare World

Do you guys remember that demon sheep ad put out by Carly Fiorina? The one that made you shudder with fear? Well, now Carly's back with a steampunk…

By James Brady Ryan on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (4)

Jamie Kennedy And Jennifer Love Hewitt Break Up: Oh Naaaaah!

Lets go back to our time machine, 11 years ago. It's 1999, and MTV still plays music videos. Lilith Fair is in the air, and we're all really psyched that…

By Drew Grant on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (1)

Jude Law's On SNL: "I'm A Human Prop...Also, Hamlet!"

What was with Saturday Night Live this weekend? Why are we all pretending that Jude Law and Pearl Jam are both culturally relevant, when they both peaked…

By Drew Grant on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Gemma Arterton Is Still One Of The Sexiest Bond Girls Ever

"I'm known for going for things. I'm quite passionate, fiery. Nudity doesn't concern me at all..." says the star of this year's hottest non-nude photo…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (7)

The Five Sexiest Screen Portrayals Of Julius Caesar

Today is the Ides of March, the day in 44 BCE that a group of Roman senators carried out the conspiracy to kill then-dictator-for-life Julius Caesar and…

By James Brady Ryan on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (4)

Lunchtime Link Love: Check Your Condoms

"Is the Kama Sutra referring only to periods of time that people are not as sexually inclined, or may the authors have been speaking to those who are to…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (3)

Video Of The Day: Republican Vampire To Run For President

One of my favorite crazy people in the whole world, Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, has announced his bid for the Republican Party's presidential…

By Ben Reininga on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (3)

Did MTV Ban Lady Gaga's "Telephone" Video?

Admit it, you're kind of obsessed with Lady Gaga's "Telephone." Last Friday, when you were supposed to be working, you watched it eleven times in a row.…

By Josh Kurp on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (2)

Look at this f*cking zombie

Sponsored Post Look at this f*cking zombie In Comedy Central's new animated horror-comedy Ugly Americans, New York City is overrun with every monster and…

By Hooksexup on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (2)

The Twilight Franchise Is Trying To Make Us All Go To Jail

Sorry, Summit Entertainment casting agents, I'm not going to be fooled by you twice. We've been down this road with Lautner, and it is shamefully obvious…

By James Brady Ryan on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Naked Night In A Hot Tub Comes Back To Haunt Politician

It was well over 25 years ago when a man named Kevin Garn and a girl named Cheryl Maher got naked together in a hot tub. Normally, no one would care... but…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (5)

While You Were Sleeping: Happy Steak & A BJ Day

Everyone just be glad you aren't Dutch: people over there are demanding that nurses should provide sexual fulfillment as part of their hospital care. "I…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 15th, 2010 | Comments (9)

Scanner Highs And Lows: All The Bad Breakups, Beauty Pageants & Boob Jobs

For the 998th and final time, come see us at South By Southwest on Saturday and stay tuned to Scanner for updates and interviews with some semi-celebs and…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (1)

This Week In Sex: Have A Porn Past?

If you're caught breaking into a church, it's probably best for your case if you don't use their facilities to watch porn in. "Men age 30 have an average…

By Brian Fairbanks on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (6)

Amanda Seyfried Heats Up Esquire

As a chick, there's no way to deny that Amanda Seyfried is sexy. I feel like if you poll all American girlfriends with the question "Who would you be most…

By Drew Grant on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (5)

The Week in Gayness: What Happens When You're Teabagging and Want to Snorkel?

Welcome to another installment of everyone's favorite round-up: The Week-In-Gayness. After a bit of a hiatus, we had no choice but to revive her this week,…

By Ben Reininga on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Video: Sin-thia's Tips For Dating Sexess

Do you want to feel deep, sensual intimacy with someone other than your cat? (I hope the answer to that question is yes for all of you.) Well just follow…

By James Brady Ryan on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (33)

For When You Want To Smell Like Lady Parts...

Men and women are both nasally attracted to pheromones, those bodily chemicals we secrete that make us irresistible to the opposite sex. But there's…

By Drew Grant on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (5)

Kari Ferrell, The Hipster Grifter, Freed From Prison

Well, well, well...it seems Kari Ferrell, the cute and prolific con artist everyone was fascinated with last year is out of jail. For the uninitiated,…

By Chris Mathias on Mar 12th, 2010 | Comments (4)