I mean, think about it: when’s the last time you gave your S.O. a Hummer, right? Probably at the beginning of your relationship, you guys were all Hummer crazy. Every night, you gave your guy a Hummer, and he was all like, “I love Hummers! Give me more Hummers!” And you were all like, “I don’t know if I can, my mouth is sore… From talking to the car dealership every day to buy you cars!”
Psyche! You thought I was talking about something dirty, when I was ACTUALLY talking about the car, the Hummer. I totally tricked you suckers. Also, I made an incredibly original pun that no-one has ever made before. Ever.
In any event, on the off chance that you A) don’t want a gas guzzling Hummer, and B) don’t have the space for a giant car, and C) play golf, you may want to check out the Mini Hummer from Harrods. It’s shaped, of course, like a Hummer H3, but is actually the size of a golf cart. It also moves at the pace of a golf cart, hitting a maximum speed of 30mph. There’s also an option to set the max speed to anywhere between 0 and 30mph, in case you have children, and don’t want them playing high speed Hummer bumper cars.
You can get it in red, black, white, grey, or yellow, and if color options don’t convince you, how about this: get a Mini Hummer, and you’ll be driving the same tiny car as Harry Potter’s eternally mugging Rupert Grint*!
[£1,400, Harrods]
*Really? He owns one? He has GOT to get his priorities straight.