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• Spoon or Spork: Lily Allen?

  We like Lily Allen, we really do. Her music is catchy and she seems like the kind-of girl we'd want to get drunk with at the pub then sneak off to eat our weight in Yorkshire pudding. So we felt really bad for her a few months ago when she miscarried, then we got strangely excited for her when her naked cliff jumping pictures appeared all over the interwebs. Though we were less excited that she had dyed her hair all blonde for that jumping adventure, we're surprisingly okay with the pink (even though we generally hate pink hair) she chose for Glamour's Women of the Year Awards last night.  But... everyone has bad nights, and Allen is probably still recovering from hers. Read More... Posted Jun 04 2008, 05:09 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: drunk, lily allen, awards, drinking, spoon or spork

• Spoon or Spork: R. Kelly?

  R. Kelly has been having a rough month. The singer's child pornography trial finally started a few weeks ago and people are already coming out of the woodwork to testify against him. Just yesterday an "expert witness" said there is no way his sex tape could have been faked. He obviously need some loving right now, but what kind?  Does he just need some good cuddling or could she use a good poke? In other words, spoon or spork? Everyone knows what “spooning” is so we need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name. So if you are of legal age, would you spoon or spork Kelly? Read More... Posted May 30 2008, 01:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: R Kelly, child pornography, spoon or spork

• Spoon or Spork: Hillary Clinton

  Hillary Clinton has had a rough couple of weeks. Even putting the primary aside, the Internets have not been too nice to Clinton. We were hard pressed to find a picture of her in a Google image search that was not intentionally unflattering. And to that (even though we're Obama supporters) we call bullshit. Seriously, we get pissed if someone tags us in a Facebook photo that makes our neck look fat, so we can only imagine that her self-esteem is not at its highest right now. Who can blame her? Where are the unflattering pictures of Obama? While we can't commit to throwing our vote behind her, we do think she needs a little pick-me-up. So it's time for everybody's favorite game that we realize is a little sexist, Spoon or Spork (don't worry, we'll move onto the men next week). Does she just need some good cuddling or could she use a good poke? In other words, spoon or spork? Everyone knows what “spooning” is so we need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name. Read More... Posted May 14 2008, 05:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, Barack Obama, spoon or spork

• Spoon or Spork: Tori Spelling

  Poor Tori Spelling. A few weeks ago when she suggested she play a MILF on the upcoming Beverly Hills 90210, everyone laughed at her. And now we're hearing reports that Jennie Garth might get a part on the new show. She may reprise her role as Kelly Taylor, returning to her Alma Mater to teach fashion design. So, really, poor Donna Martin? Either way, we're guessing a very pregant Tori Spelling could use some love this week, but what kind? Does she just need some good cuddling or could she use a good poke? In other words, spoon or spork? Everyone knows what “spooning” is so we need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name. Read More... Posted Apr 16 2008, 11:13 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: pregnancy, spoon or spork, tori spelling, beverly hills 90210, jennie garth

• Spoon or Spork: Cindy McCain?

  Wannabe first-wife Cindy McCain has had a rough go of it lately, what with accusations of John's extra-marital affairs, the revelation that John called her a cunt sixteen years ago ("At least I don't plaster on makeup like a trollop, you cunt."). In addition, Senator McCain is probably focusing his energies elsewhere these days, leaving the McCain marital bed a little cold (we're just guessing). Cindy could probably use some loving right about now, but what kind? Does she just need some good cuddling or could she use a good poke? In other words, spoon or spork? Everyone knows what “spooning” is so we need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name. Read More... Posted Apr 09 2008, 02:06 PM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: john McCain, spoon or spork, cindy mccain

• Spoon Or Spork: Amy Winehouse

  One woman: Amy Winehouse. Two choices: spooning or sporking. Everyone knows what “spooning” is so I need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name. In Amy’s case, I’m just going to spoon her. It’s too hard for me to watch her smoke crack and deteriorate in front of everyone’s eyes—a sporking is the last thing she needs right now; I’ll save that for the Lindsay Lohans of the world. No, I’m offering Amy Winehouse a good old-fashioned spooning because I think it could help right now, given the recent release of her "crack smoking" video. In my head, it goes a little something like this... Read More... Posted Jan 23 2008, 12:46 PM by Bobby Tisdale with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: video, amy winehouse, spoon or spork, crack, crack pipe, bobby tisdale spooning or sporking