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Sex Advice from StarCraft Players

By Jon Blistein

Christoffer, 25

Species: Protoss 
 
What’s the best reason to date a StarCraft player? 
I can only speak for myself, but I think a lot of people have embraced their inner nerds and found themselves by playing. Being secure is very important when going into a relationship. I could go into jokes about multi-tasking and timing pushes, but I believe that it only would cement a negative stereotype. 
 
What has playing StarCraft taught you about dating? 
Personally, I haven't dated much since I started playing StarCraft II (no causality, honest!), and I never played StarCraft: Brood War seriously, so I guess I haven't learned much from StarCraft in particular.  
 
I’m a devout Terran, but I'm dating a Zerg. How can we minimize conflict within our relationship while still maintaining strong armies and a competitive rivalry in the game? 
A true Romeo and Juliet situation! I think you should nurture this rivalry, because I think it will bring spice to your relationship. Perhaps issue game-based challenges that will lead to real life rewards like not having to do the dishes or maybe the fulfillment of a dirty fantasy.
 
I’ve been considering asking a fellow player out. Is there a creative and acceptable way to do this while playing, or would I ruin my chances if I asked her out mid-game? 
Mid-game? Are you crazy? Mid-game is very crucial, and there simply is no time to be typing lovey-dovey stuff to the other player. Wait until after. 
 
I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now and even though we’ve fooled around, we haven’t had sex yet. Neither of us are virgins, and he’s not afraid of sex, but I can tell he’s a little anxious. How can I get him to stop being such a prude? 
This may sound obvious, but why don't you take the next step? It helps if you tell him what you are going to do before doing it, so he has a chance to say no. "I am going to lead you into the bedroom, and then you are going to ravage me" was always a personal favorite. 
 
I’m worried that my girlfriend is faking it. She says she’s not and that the sex we have is great, but sometimes I’m not convinced. Is there a way I can go about asking her or finding out for sure, or should I just take her word for it? 
I think you should just take her word for it. There are a lot of physical signs of orgasm that you can look for, but not all women display all or any of them. If you need to bring it up, do so in a non-sexual situation, and tell her that you feel insecure about yourself. If you expose a vulnerability, then so might she. 
 
I’m looking to make things a little more interesting in the bedroom, though my boyfriend — who’s a little vanilla doesn’t seem to have any complaints. What can I do as a pleasant surprise that won’t freak him out? 
This depends wholly on what you mean by interesting. If it’s bondage play, get a silk scarf or something flimsy and ask him to tie one of your arms to the bed. Looking for a little pain? Tell him that you have been a bad girl, and need a bit of a spanking, or just tell him to slap your ass when you’re in the middle of the high-intensity parts of sex. 
 
What’s the best way to balance being an avid gamer and being in a relationship? 
Communication and boundaries are very important. It’s crucial that both partners have their own time while maintaining enough free time to enable together time. Make sure you nerd out as often as you can; if you need to schedule a certain time for gaming for a tournament or a World of Warcraft raid, do it. It’s no stranger than setting up a girls' night out or gym trips.

Comments ( 11 )

Nice try! Jessica can't be real... trust me, I'm an engineer and we'd all know. She'd be legend!
Jordan commented on Sep 10 10 at 1:08 am
Hmm...I'm totally real.
Jessica commented on Sep 10 10 at 7:31 am
Hey, I know her.
Ryan commented on Sep 10 10 at 8:09 am
Israel nailed it with that bit about going all in vs. playing purely defensively. Now I know both how to win love and how to STOP LOSING AT GODDAMN STARCRAFT!
Joe commented on Sep 10 10 at 9:47 am
"It’s no stranger than setting up a girls' night out or gym trips." Except that WoW players play it obsessively, and raids take freaking hours and hours of time.
WTF commented on Sep 10 10 at 11:13 am
These guys get laid?
jr commented on Sep 10 10 at 12:07 pm
Jessica is a lady in street but a freak in the bed.
cassie commented on Sep 10 10 at 12:55 pm
Yay, Starcraft! I like the responses too. Put your hands in the Aiur like you just don't carrier!
KS commented on Sep 10 10 at 1:33 pm
Bro, it's RACE no SPECIES. Get it right.
DudeGuy commented on Sep 10 10 at 4:38 pm
sex with a starcraft player would consist of: girl: glhf guy fast expands guy: gg
things and stuff commented on Sep 10 10 at 7:33 pm
"fast expands" lol.
Harold commented on Sep 11 10 at 4:23 pm

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