Stephen Colbert joins the Sexiest Man Alive protest

The jury's still out on his opinion of Ryan Gosling, but Stephen Colbert is also calling bullshit on People's choice of Bradley Cooper for Sexiest Man Alive.

Though Colbert commends People for breaking the story on Richard Gere's cinnamon rolls, he's none too pleased about their newest coverboy. "Sexy? Please. Is that a man or did a horse take a dump on a wig factory?" Colbert asks indignantly. He also scoffs at Cooper's French skills (because really, if that was the qualifying factor, we all know which lady-tease should've won) and points out Cooper's inclination to laugh at falling grannies. Gone are the standards the magazine used to have, he cries, when it selected people like Nick Nolte. (Note: This really happened.)

Colbert might have earned himself approximately 50 million more Tumblr citations had he actually come out pro-Gos, but it's still fun to see a pundit decry People's very serious crime against humanity. You keep fighting the good fight, Team Gosling.