Posted by Steph Auteri
- The cheese grater. Just the other day, I chopped off part of my nail on the damn thing while shredding Gruyere.
- The potato peeler. Just the other week, I chopped off the bulk of my nail and part of my finger with the damn thing.
- The butter knife. Just the other month, I sliced open my finger with the damn thing while slicing open pita bread.
- The oven. I'm scared of it.
- That large machete-like knife with all your blood on it:
Okay, so it's not really your blood. But the new Evidence knife from Fred & Friends is pretty damn convincing.
Related: Inventory I Lust After: Fred & Friends, Uncomb, Another Birthday Up in Smoke, Slicing Up the Pizza
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About Steph Auteri
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, https://twitter.com/stephauteri.