So, apparently "Meet the Spartans," which expands to more theaters tomorrow, features a shaved-head Britney, a skanky Carmen Electra (sorry for the double negative), George Bush getting kicked in the balls, and dozens of offensive gay jokes, including one about taking the enemy from "the rear" in battle (hardy har har), and the longest closing credits in film history. The reviews have been brutal, scathing, and hopefully enough to drive the filmmakers to drink and ruin.
But it was worth the film being released just to read some of these reviews. Ouch.
Isn't it massive consumer fraud to charge $10.50 for a barely hour-long movie? Perhaps, but it would've been unforgivable to make Meet the Spartans any longer than an hour. This was the worst movie I've ever seen, so bad that I hesitate to label it a "movie" and thus reflect shame upon the entire medium of film.
And that's not even the most brutal thing Slate has to say about the filmmakers. The reviewer all but calls them worse people than Saddham and Bin Laden:
They are not filmmakers. They are evildoers, charlatans, symbols of Western civilization's decline under the weight of too many pop culture references.
But perhaps the one that will screw with these fradusters' heads is the review from Cinema Blend, which includes this choice line:
There are funny movies and then there are Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer movies.
The review then goes on to call the film "excruciating, asinine, nauseating, hateful, unbearable, predictable and downright crappy."