The only thing worse than being desperate enough to do it with an inanimate (and probably uncomfortable) object is getting caught kneeling naked on the floor of your work restroom and getting busted doing it with an inanimate object...

Last week, there was the guy who had sex with a goat, then the other guy who tried to have sex with a goat. Now there's this guy, who apparently couldn't even get a flippin' goat to go on a date with him:

The man was allegedly discovered naked, on his hands and knees, with his rude bits in the business end of a smiling Henry vacuum cleaner.

The Sun reports that the Polish man claimed to bosses that he had merely been vacuuming in his underwear, which was supposedly a common practice in Poland. Hmmm.

A smiling Henry? Barf. Yet another reason to not clean our apartments this week-- not being able to look our vacuum cleaner in the eye.