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Cosmo and AskMen in Steel Cage Match Battle of the Sexes

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

We'd to see a good brawl between the silly people behind Cosmopolitan and AskMen.com.

Until that $39.95 pay-per-view event, we'll settle for this war of online words, over AskMen's "Top 10 Things Only Men Can Do" (which even we're not brash enough to subject anyone to) and Cosmo's response, "21 Things Women Can Do That Guys Can't." Oooooooh! No, you didn't...

Worst Of AskMen's List: #10: Go topless. (Really, women can't? Where do you live, dude?); #9: Hold our liquor (We were at a Wilco concert last night and apparently Tim Robbins was passing out behind us.) #1: Age well. (Seen Sophia Loren lately, anyone? Or Helen Mirren, you bastards?)

Best of AskMen's List: #3: Pee standing up. (We'd like to add: pee in public, even between cars, when necessary... and sometimes even get away with it.)

Worst of Cosmo's List: #1: Get preggers. (99% of all men are glad it works out that way. Not that we don't admire you for the ability, just we we're glad the Pregnant Man thing isn't going to happen to us.) #3: Ask for directions. (Oh, when are we going to forget that false, tiresome cliche?)

Best of Cosmo's List: #2: Fake it. (Sadly, we can't have what she's having.) #6: Have multiple orgasms. (Yeah, but Viagra solves that discrepancy.) #12: Wing it on the dance floor... convincingly. (Agreed.)

Read the AskMen original and the Cosmo retaliation here. 

 

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Posted Aug 14 2008, 03:20 PM
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Comments

daisyfoot said:

Women can pee standing up.  Sure, it requires more skill for us than for those of you who have a "point and shoot," but we can do it.

Just sayin'.

August 14, 2008 3:56 PM

fakingit said:

men can, in fact, fake It.

With a condom, recommended in the dark.

It, ahem, comes in handy when you're tired are no where near finishing and just want to get some sleep.

Pump, fake, shudder,deep sigh of release, pause, fall into her neck (if you are on top) then roll off and slip into the bathroom to cover up your sad misdeeds.

August 14, 2008 4:22 PM

AnotherSexBlogger said:

Hmm.  I only disagree with 3 of the men's list.  And the women's list is pretty good, too.

(The tongue-in-cheek honorable mention about women not being able to be president really should have had a "in the United States only" clause, though.)

I'm kind of surprised.

August 14, 2008 4:44 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

fakingit: That's true. I remember in one of the Howard Stern books he talked about, I think, losing his virginity and pulling the same move.

Although, in his case, it was because he didn't last thirty seconds. ("You know, I don't think this is such a good idea..." he muttered, getting off the poor victim...)

August 14, 2008 4:51 PM

eurrapanzy said:

ask men's list is pretty piss poor, but some of it makes sense.

the cosmo list is asinine and stereotypical.  i've done eight of the ten things in the top ten successfully.  their claim about cougans fails to consider that young men are just as weirded out by skeezy cougars as women are of dirty of men.  i'm actually offended for women who have cosmo "protecting" their honor.

August 15, 2008 9:03 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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