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All Right, Fine... We'll Show You Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape...

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

This is almost an exclusive, actually. For months, we'd been hearing about this Ray J-Kim Kardashian sex tape, which was briefly sold by one online distributor before being pulled. The only real footage that surfaced on the web was in the form of an almost safe-for-work trailer. 

Then we found a couple of five-minute excerpts on Megarotic... making this sort of like Three Pornos In Search Of An Editor, but anyway...

First, the "trailer." Warning, it's incredibly annoying:

Next, the best version we've been able to find of the tape, a three part version. Most of these, you'll spend on fast-forward, but the third one is pretty nice once the slow motion bullshit is over...

1) Ray goes down on her, then there's some pointless footage of Kim's crotch... while she is in public... wearing jeans:

2) Next up, more sex, beginning with Kim saying she's too shy to show herself off... before showing off her ass and poonannananany... and boobs... and Ray J's dick...

 

3) At last, we come to the XXX finish... well, if you fastforward to the last two minutes, that is..

 

Related:

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The Josh Hartnett Sex Tape: At Least It Won't Be In Night Vision

Dame Helen Mirren As A Teen: Loved Coke, Date Rape Not So Much

Sloppy Seconds: New Apprentice Set To Be Worst TV Show Ever

Sloppy Seconds: No, Wait... This Is The Worst Show Ever

Kim Kardashian And Carmen Electra Size Each Other Up, Wrestle, Cuddle

Hot or Not? Kim Kardashian Poses for "Ralph"


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Comments

Emily Farris said:

Holy shit, BF! Just watching that is the most action I've had in months. Sadly, though, she just sounds like your run-of-the-mill porn star.

September 16, 2008 12:27 PM

Mandy said:

My first thought was, "This girl has watched too much porn." Sometimes it's fun to veer from the script, Kim.

September 16, 2008 2:21 PM

borstalboy said:

Why, her reactions to sexual stress are so studied it's almost as if...she knew this was going to be seen by the general public.

But that couldn't be so...could it?  

September 17, 2008 10:15 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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