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Cooking With Your Balls

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

If you didn't scream bloody (bollocks) murder reading the title and seeing that pic, you'll probably enjoy this one...

Those crazy Serbs... they eat monkey brains and lick cigarettes for the protein... or something. Seriously though, it turns out they eat balls-- as in, they cook and chew them... yikes.

The book, the first all-testicle cookbook, is thankfully only available electronically, which means you won't be seeing this in the window of Barnes and Noble or its author pleasuring himself on Oprah. It's available here and features the following highlights:

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

I will not! Oh, wait... author and so-called "chef" Ljubomir Erovic is talking about the nutsacks of pigs, ostriches, bulls (surprise) and, of course, stallions. Erovic is pretty proud of himself-- proclaiming his inventions of Testical Pizza and Barbecued Testicles were revolutionary moments in food. Thanks, Ljub, but we'll stick with hot dogs and foie gras when we're up for eating a disgusting part of an animal.

The e-book, available for download from the internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks. [News.com.au]

There's video of this?! Oh no, we cannot let that stand. Don't buy this book! (Available here.)

 

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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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