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While You Were Sleeping: The Sexy Mrs. Freddy Kreuger

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

We can picture it: a Cleopatra movie starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as the title character and Hugh Jackman as Marc Antony. But a musical? And directed by Steven Soderbergh?

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClelan endorsed Obama on D.L. Hughley's new show. John McCain really needs a high profile endorsement soon-- really, he needs just about anything and everything soon to turn this thing around. Some observers think McCain could be down to funds of only one million dollars a day... you don't even want to know how that compares to Obama's staggering total.

Although we suspect it to be an exaggeration, this is nonetheless the most shocking HIV scare story we can recall...

Students at a suburban St. Louis high school headed to the gymnasium for HIV testing this week after an infected person told health officials as many as 50 teenagers might have been exposed to the virus that causes AIDS.

Officials refused to give details on who the person was or how the students at Normandy High School might have been exposed...

A teacher in a neighboring district singled out a girl who dates someone at Normandy High and instructed her to get tested, Hochstedler said. A competing school's football team initially balked at playing Normandy's 8-0 team.

Jasmine Lane, a 16-year-old sophomore, said her boyfriend from a neighboring high school broke up with her on learning of the news -- after she bought them tickets to homecoming.

"I cried so hard," she said.

There's nothing positive about this story whatsoever. It has the potential to be an explosive, ongoing saga... we'll keep you posted. (Jasmine, we'll totally fly to St. Louis to go to the homecoming with you.)

Yet another downer: a woman was sentenced to forty years in prison. Her crime? Lighting her boyfriend on fire. His? Not beating up the guy who was checking her out.

Anne Hathaway's ex was sentenced yesterday...

A dashing Italian conman who went out with Hollywood actress Anne Hathaway was sentenced by a court in New York on Thursday to four and a half years in prison for fraud. [Yahoo!]

Note to crackheads: it's easy to get busted for faking crack prescriptions... since there's no such thing as a crack prescription.

And this Halloween costume is pretty stupid. Although, we have to admit, Freddy Kreuger has great taste in women.

 

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Which Power Ranger Is Guilty of Murder?

Who Would You Rather: The Anne Hathaway...

Alain Baxter's Nude Calendar Artier Than We Expected

Today in F*ck Yeah: Pacman Halloween Costumes

Because It Isn't Halloween Until a Dog Is Wearing a Tiara


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Comments

jenny said:

Well I'm glad that Anne Hathaway's scummy boyfriend got jail time.  She seems like a nice girl.

But on another note, am I like the ONLY person right now who just doesn't care about her?  People keep saying how "lovely" and ladylike" she is.  Does not showing your scabby coochie post-limo make you aristocracy these days?!  </rant>

October 24, 2008 11:34 AM

Twolane said:

A high profile endorsement for McSame? I thought Osama bin Laden had endorsed him and his party just recently. How's that working out for McSame?

October 24, 2008 11:57 AM

profrobert said:

The St. Louis story is woefully short on details.  How -- exactly -- do you expose 50 people to the HIV virus?  Was there an unsafe sex orgy?  Mass needle sharing among a class full of junkies?  If I had to bet, I'd guess there is one kid who is HIV positive and sat in a classroom with the other kids who HAD TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR, OMG, OMG, OMG!  I suspect this is the kind of ignorant hysteria that (one would think) went out in the '80s.

October 24, 2008 1:45 PM

Lisa said:

I'm more thinking it's along the lines of "I slept with this person, and he slept with these people, and they slept with these people..."

October 24, 2008 3:22 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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