Who the hell wants to get someone a Planned Parenthood gift certificate?
What purpose do they serve besides stirring up the hornet's nest that is the anti-abortion movement?
Planned Parenthood of Indiana, Florida, and Illinois have launched the holiday gift of the century, the perfect gift for that girlfriend you've been trying to get on the pill or... or what? Honestly, we can't think of a single person in our lives that could conceivably be receptive to this.
"Oh, thanks, Brian... now I can get that abortion I've always wanted... you cheap bastard."
"Hey, thanks, dude. Now I can finally afford just a single month's supply of birth control pills for my girlfriend. It will be totally fine to go back to having unprotected sex when the certificates run out, right?"
"Oh, honey, you shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have. Your father and I threw up when we opened this."
Apparently, according to a Planned Parenthood in Indiana, these are a tremendous success already, though God knows why. Planned Parenthood isn't even promoting them on their website and the media only just started covering this story after dozens had been sold at each locations. Even they don't know how to market something like this-- although, it should be said, that we are 100% in favor of easy access to birth control... just maybe in better taste than this. After all, would you get someone a box of condoms for Christmas? Kind of tacky.
And, of course, the batshit crazies are already out in droves. Stop Planned Parenthood is already all over this one with their completely off-base claim that this is an attack "on the Christian community at Christmastime."
Huh? You know what, pass me that form, I'm ordering one of these and sending it to Stop Planned Parenthood as a gag gift...
Photo via WISH-TV.
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