These excerpts from Pravda RU (an online newspaper not to be confused with Russia's other Pravda newspaper, which is also available online) made us laugh even harder than we did when we saw this imaginary "orgasm face."
Since, we all know, there is no such thing as the female orgasm.
Here are our favorite moments from an unsigned series of articles on the mysterious G spot, clitoris, and female ejaculatory function:
Female orgasm is probably one of the most mysterious phenomena in the world. There is very little precise knowledge about this phenomenon, some people hardly believe in it, although they do think that one needs to talk about it. Female orgasm is like the divine afflation – it is different and unique every time and all the time.
Some think that the clitoris is the most important organ in the process of achieving female orgasm, whereas others prefer to point out the importance of the vagina, or even both. Another theory says that female orgasm is a pure myth, which party girls made up to steal other women’s husbands.
The state of affairs with male orgasm is simple: relatively long frictions result in a small explosion and a little bit of moaning and panting, and it is pretty much it. A man ejaculates a substance, which incarnates the triumph of the materialistic philosophy over the idealistic philosophy: there is no God, “a spark will kindle a flame” if no contraception is used.
[To find the G spot] According to Grafenberg, one needs to insert two fingers in the vagina (fingertips turned upwards) and move them around.
[A] woman’s ability to experience orgasm can be determined through a simple and inexpensive procedure. [Yes, it's called letting me take her to dinner.]
But seriously-- these are actual excerpts. We were trying to eat, so we read no further for fear of choking to death on lunch prepared by our subservient wives. However, we did notice Pravda's other headlines of the morning:
Israel prepares to wipe Gaza Strip off Earth’s face
The absurd persistence of domination: Of speciesism, capitalism, and shaking their foundations
Ukraine’s unprofessional president and prime minister to kill the nation
Wonder if these people are hiring English translators...
More here and here. Image via this link.
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