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America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Paulina Porizkova turns 44 this week-- can you believe it? Either way, hopefully you'll agree that she's as stunning as ever.

The Czech-born supermodel was recently captured cavorting topless-- on a U.S. beach, no less. This woman has nothing to hide, prove, or be sorry about, so all those who made nasty comments on blogs where these photos appeared can kiss her bikini-covered...

 

Here's what a handful of ungrateful children of God had to say about these snaps:

her nipples are huge compared to her breasts! She has ugly breasts in my opinion. [ugly breasts? The only ugly breasts are certan boob jobs, okay?]

around the kids? really? [right, teach those kids to be ashamed of their bodies!]

her nipples were used too much ..they are dark color...well...she is still in good shape [what do you mean? from breastfeeding?!]

You are great.I love to be able to contact you. Ayman Awwas + 962 79 556 00 22 [uh... yeah... Portizkova didn't post these herself, you know]

And a few true winners:

most people wished they looked this good in their 20s let alone at 43. She looks AMAZING.whoever said she has ugly breasts are stupid. in fact anyone talking shit about her body is stupid...

she's better looking than the competitors 

Anonymous, if topless women on the beach bother you, maybe it's time for a trip to Europe to broaden your horizons.

Broaden your horizons... there's a sexual pun in there somewhere, if only we knew what to do with it.

 

Related:

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Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho


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Comments

asb76 said:

Large/dark nipples are ugly?  What a bunch of idiots.

April 6, 2009 2:19 PM

Emily Farris said:

Yeah, I imagine I will go my entire life without ever looking this good.

April 6, 2009 2:23 PM

Litmus said:

Scanner Emily, we could shed some light with a comparison, like Marry, F**k, Kill contest

April 7, 2009 1:57 AM

Mandy said:

She looks amazing.

April 7, 2009 10:25 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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